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As she walks down the hall;

The way she walked showed weakness;

Revealed pain;

The perfect object of ridicule;

Books knocked around, stepped on, and torn apart:

Horrible laughter filled the halls;

She merely gathered her items and moved on;

Her glasses framed her eyes, like a picture frame of sadness;

Her hair hanging in her face trying to cover the unmistakable pain;

Sadly, when she returns to what she calls home;

Her life only gets worse;

For when she gets "home" she is beaten by her own family;

The only place to retreat was to the forest;

This place, her only get-away, was hidden amongst the high trees;

She runs there after school every day as to escape the ridicule and the beatings;

Here she can be in peace with nothing but here self and the nature around her;

But of course, knowing her life, this peace would not last;

Time repeated, day after day of ridicule, and so did the pain;

She was pushed, and pushed, and pushed;

She would soon reach the edge;

Again and again, agonizing pain smacked her in the face;

Yet again she would retreat, to her hide-away;

Finally, she lost her mind;

That very day she reached a discision of how to take her revenge;

She searched her fathers room while he was away and found his pistol;

She waited hour after hour for the right time, free period;

Finally, the time came;

In an instant every one gathered around;

She was atop the tallest part of the school building;

Everyone tried to convince her to come down, but nothing would change her plan;

She closed her eyes, and jumped;

She felt her last moments rushing through the air in speed awaiting her death;

Come to find out, she shot her parents that morning;

And her get-away place was burned to the Earth;

Hear this message and remember this story the next time you think of hurting someone physically or emotionally.

A contest entry

How did I do? Too sad? Scary? ?????

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    December 19, 2007

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    Wow

    Wow is about what sums it up. This is so powerful. Great story. It really makes you think. This pain of gettign picked on and abused has happened to far too many young people. Our homes are supposed to be a refuge from the cruel world outside and then some parents just ruin it by treating there children like crap. Thank you so much for entering this in my contest and I wish you good luck. I will be adding this to the finalists list.


  • as.phy.xi.ate. silver member
    December 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Quote for Comment, message when done [title included]


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    November 29, 2007

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    Oh yes indeed.....never been here to the breakingpoint but damn well bet your behind i wanted to blow them all away,.
    great job and thanks for your entry.

    tory


  • Griswold gold member
    November 28, 2007
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    This is very well written, I felt like I was in her shoes the whole time. It's cruel what parents will do to their children, and what other children will do because they don't understand. Very well done, please post in your authors notes if Tory can use this in her book...Scott & Tory


  • Heartbeatsxfading
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the melancholy tone of this;

    I love these lines specifically:

    "Her glasses framed her eyes, like a picture frame of sadness;

    Her hair hanging in her face trying to cover the unmistakable pain;"

    Gawgus.


  • bonjourbunnie
    October 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "Her glasses framed her eyes, like a picture frame of sadness;"

    Beautiful imagery. I really love this line.

    The whole poem is emensely truthful and sad. I enjoyed reading it and also loved the message it conveyed. A really good piece of poetry! Good luck in the contest


  • Maybe.I.Am.Broken.
    October 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    YAY!

    i finally got to rad this poem of yours, i'd have to say that this is one of my favorites, that you've written, if you keep writing with your feeling, your emotions, most importantly your heart. If you keep going by these instincts you can make a HUGE difference in the world of the younger poets. Keep writing with your heart.


  • Falling.Again...Xx
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Still no comments!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Falling.Again...Xx
    September 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Still waiting for comments.

1 - 9 of 9