This must be real.
I fall more and more in love with you,
with every breath I take.
This must be real.
Everytime you say that it'll be okay,
that's when I believe.
This must be real.
You called me sweetie,
and I became a puddle at your feet.
This must be real.
You told me I was beautiful,
and my heart melted.
This must be real.
Talking to you,
takes the weight off my chest.
This must be real.
You asked me to be yours forever,
and I cried without a doubt.
This must be real.
In a list
A contest entry
- Teenage Love Poems (May Be Prewrites) by ChrissyJean.
330 points, ended October 8, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romance Poems, Please No Adults by Angel Eyed Baby.
600 points, ended December 11, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lovely Eternities Are For FairyTale Princesses.♥ by WishMeAway--x.
750 points, ended October 12, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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ooh Lah lah , the poem is much better remformatted, it leaves me with a wanting and love. Yet it also expresses the idealism that love can and will exist for "forever" More thoughts on that later .
Otherwise I can find no discernible points in question, Bravo
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forever doesnt always last a lifetime.
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this is my favorite,
there are things i would change but when it comes from the heart i beleive you should leave it alone.
this is how you feel and your love is organic and powerful.
may the lord bless you both
candice
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I would choose this one. It's sweeter and I flows better. I also go along with the fact that you say "this must be real" just a bit too much. Other than that, it's beautiful.
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Pretty good
I like your title but i'm not sure about you saying this must be real as many times as you did. your first part for example i'm going to write it like this.[This must be real .I fall more and more in love with you. with every breath i take.everytime you say it will be ok. that's when i beleive]--- (this must be real)i think your second this must be real should be in the end of your paragraph to me is sounds better.breaks it up from being to close together.your lines this must be real needs to be adjusted. write all the words to all the parts but put this must be real at the end of each see how it all fits and sounds.you decide if this is what you want to do.please don't take my comments harshly i hate picking things apart.write it your way if you want.i hope i helped in some way. now i'll check out the second real poem.Bee gee
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As I said before this piece is good, and show your truest love towards this person.....
Very well composed and surely a good read.....
Thanks for sharing and be blessed with love and light always.....
AngelicMistress...Tanya
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I like both
They're absolutely beautiful. Hmmm I guess if you have to choose one, maybe go for this one 
. I think you should make the writing a lighter colour more towards an orangy pink it'll match the background better. I think he'll love either one. I noticed the comment below and yeah this one seems more positive.
GOODLUCK
Thankyou for sharing this.
Lil
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Much better. No negative words, just pure magic and emotion. This is my pick.
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I should have the other here beside this one to really compare. The same feelings and emotions are expressed...but for some reason I liked reading the poem better the second time. Congats on your engagement!
Love~
Az
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I like this one better. Definitely flows better and it sounds less choppy. My only comment would be that I dislike how many times you repeat the line "this must be real." Twice in every stanza, I think, is just too much. But other people seem to like that repetition, so you'll have to decide there. But other than that, it is very well written and very heartfelt.
-Alex -
This is sweet. I'm sure your boyfriend will be pleased with this. I'll read the other and tell you which one I like better.
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this is definitely the better of the two- i think you are doing a wonderful job of expressing your heart to him.. keep up the good work on revising until you are completely happy with the piece
this is lovely
m
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This one is better, it has less meter disruption. I think what makes this poem is the repeated lines. The image is good of true emotion.
Love,
Amera♥
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I like this one a lot better. I'm going to put my personal feelings of it behind me. Very good, and well written. You could actually flush it out more if you wanted to but thats compltely up to you.
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i would say this is better, it has a better flow to it and the metaphors are more definite.
both are every good
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This one sounds so much better and flowed with perfect rhythm....great job here....I'm sure he will love it...smiles, Terry
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revised one is better
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