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Retreat Stories - Silver

Missing image


My retreat has spirits rising blue and orby
from lake and flood plane to speak of how thick
humid air channels through, curves around, carves into; 
becomes us.    Here, where sage and tumble  weeds stir with longing
for chilled sip of life-giving whispers  that taste of far away
places and lingering traces of evidence can be written on mappy tongues.

Sky leans into earthy breasts and sucks on tales she has to tell;
kneading, pleading, for voice to be less frail; nourishment richer.

If god were to return, he would glide on spiritual wings
to snatch up believers, carry them back through long birth story legs.





Author notes

prompt is contest holder's own photograph

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • penman gold member
    September 28, 2007
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    Wonderful

    Very well done. Bet of luck in the contest.


    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      September 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      ty so much for the silver, pen friend. To ahve such palces is to know where to feed one's soul...mine is just behind the house in the forest... a little womb of a place.


  • michael thomas gold member
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Carol your words bound over sky like pelicans with
    words dripping out of the mouth as they cling to their catch fiercely on wing of birth story legs folding under.

  • Aurora Ceres
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I found this to be a most intriguing and provocative write. Loved this part...
    'Here, where sage and tumble weeds stir with longing
    for chilled sip of life-giving whispers that taste of far away places and lingering traces of evidence can be written on mappy tongues.'
    Wonderful. I wish you all the best in this contest.

    Bella


    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      September 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      ty Bella. I am far away from my own sagy respite....and sometmes I know what a mispalced plant msut feel.


  • Kevin Moderators member
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    long lines took a lot of concentration to read becomes us. Here -> strange gap / line choice. birth story legs?

    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      September 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      All of my poetry is a little dfferent. I write a little differently for soem poets I have gotten to know a little more. As well..I am native american and sometimes that voice comes through. Have you never sat around elders and heard their stories?

      this is a poem that is reminder that wherever we are is still thewomb of creation...if it feels like a spiritual palce to us, then it holds part of our own personal creation story. It is for us to figure out how, what, why, and the meaning that place has for us.

      My book is not called "Shhhhhh: A Creation story" for naught.

      ty for your comments. I do appreciate them. It shows how unique we all are.

1 - 7 of 7