Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Birth Of A Vampire


I looked on
with delight,
unable to conceal
my pleasure.

 

I screamed
with sheer joy,
the release
was unstoppable.

Starring back
at my stationary shell,
I realized then;

I only had

moments.


I didn't have time
to hate myself,
I'd longed
and wished
for this.

It was my time,
time to cleanse
the world.
Suck it clean
of the poison,
that claimed

this place.

 

It was my turn 

too sink my

neck fuck,

deep inside

their dirty flesh.

 

Leave my calling card

scared upon

their worthless

carcasses,

sucked to death. 

 

The hatred quickened,

sending rushes

through my veins.

Awakened, freed,

the killing spree

will start...

 

 

 

Author notes

Option 7: Vampires-better be better

A contest entry

TELL ME WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE PLEASE.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • vampireintherain
    October 25
    Edit | Reply
    it was pretty good,good job


  • ShiningNShadows
    December 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty good. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • XpushXmeXagainX
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I noticed one spelling error...

    Other than that this was good. :]

    Thanks for entering.


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Dark & Alluring!!!

    Love it...
    I've written a few of these myself, and I've got to say 'I love your take on it'.
    Great descriptive narrative, rhythm & flow...
    Engaging & enthralling...
    Well done!!!


  • LadyDementia gold member
    January 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A fantastic poem...dripping in darkness...delight to read! Best of luck in the contest with it


    • Timespell
      January 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading my Vampire story. Nothing better than a nice slow suck on a sweet vein

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • Xx Luna xX
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for entering

    Suck it clean
    of the poison,
    that claimed
    this place.
    BLISSFUL LINES!

    This is an amazing vampire poem. Great choice of word play!




    • Timespell
      January 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you... I am happy you like this one of mine.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    January 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow what an amazing piece! I love vampires and vampire stuff and I am a vampire so that's why I clicked on it, wonderful


    • Timespell
      January 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading this one. I have done a few a long the lines of Vampires.

      Happy new year,

      ~T.S~


  • Lucifers Seductress
    November 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Dark, sinister, can feel the hatred, Great write. Thank you so much for entering my contest.


  • Arizona Sunset
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent take on the prompt, thank you for sharing, blessings to you always, congrats on your bronze


    • Timespell
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.s~


  • Blueisacolour
    September 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dark and sinister... I thoroughly enjoyed the imagery and intensity with which this piece was written.
    =)
    But do put your option in the author's notes.
    Thanks and good luck!

    • Timespell
      October 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading glad you liked it.
      It would have to be wake up sleeping beauty, In a twisted sort of way. For she is now a creature of the night, Beautiful, but does she bite!!

      Thanks again I really appreciated your comment.

      All the best.

      ~T.S~


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    September 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is some creepy stuff, I must tell you that. I loved the psychoticness of this, the deep loathing of life. I like the way you almost make the people sound like they are dirt. Whether you be possessed or a demon yourself, you want to release wrath on the world. Don't blame you either!

    • Timespell
      September 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      The photo was creepy enough to be honest. One that stays with you in your sleep..
      Thanks for reading and for your nice comment!

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • slayenemy909
    September 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    smooth

    This poem flowed perfectly and had some great phrasings. nice poem. thanks for entering.


    • Timespell
      September 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading and for the comment

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • B.bdawn
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting. I can literally see someone acting this way in real life. Scary. Thanks for the entry and good luck in the contest!

    • Timespell
      September 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      To be honest, It's not the sort of thing I write about. But I really was drawn in by the photo. So thought I would have a go at it. Thanks for reading and for leaving a comment.

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • Beautiful-Mourning
    September 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great write. i like the descriptions in this piece. nicely done.

    good luck in the contest.


    • Timespell
      September 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I appreciate your comment. Glad you like the poem.

      All the best

      ~T.S~

1 - 24 of 24