Day 1:
Daddy leaves to go to something called a war.
Day 2:
I hope Daddy is having fun with all his friends at the war.
Day 3:
Mommy? When is Daddy coming home?
Day 7:
Daddy's been gone a long time. I miss him a lot. When will he be back?
Day 8:
Tommy said that Daddy might have been killed, what is this war thing?
Day 1460:
I don't remember what Daddy looks like, he's not coming home is he?
Day 3650:
Daddy returns, he doesn't seem or look like he was before, what happened?
Day 3651:
Daddy was a P.O.W. I want to help him with his troubles. What happened there?
Day 10950:
I couldn't quite help Daddy, he's passed on. But he helped me with life.
Thank you Daddy, I love you!
Author notes
Written October 1st, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Open by .
300 points, ended July 7, 2004, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
-
This is fantastic..It made me cry though..but it was nice. Thank you.
~Daniela -
this definatley depicts the sorrow and hurt everyone has to go through during war. it shows how very much it effects the children. great job with this and good luck in my contest!
take care.
alwaz~BB -
Wow...Iwo Jima, eh? That had to be tough on your family. I really like the innocence portrayed in this piece. Thanks a lot for sharing it and keep up the awesome work! ^_^
~Michelle~ -
Now I am free to comment I wanted to tell you that the unusual format of this poem along with the feelings you put across in it were brilliant and well deserving of my appluase. I read through this one several times while judging and liked it each time.
WEll done on a great write and thank you for entering this poem and giving me a chance to read it. It is not the last of your poems I will take a look at I am sure.
Bec
-
I can see why this is your favourite piece too but again I am afraid that I can't comment properly on it until the contest has been judged. I can say that I do love this format and the way this poem is a bit different. And I will do a proper critique I promise once the contest is over.
Thankyou for entering and good luck.
Bec
-
applaud
Love you words are beautiful, showing every stage of what one can go through... I hate knowing there are people going through something much like you took the time to express on this page...Thank you for sharing this love... Take care of yourself...Find lots of pennies. Always ~Star -
This poem is very touching and I know war is an awful thing that has to be done sometimes.. This shows the way a child views a war.. great touching sad poem
-
This is such a sad poem, and I can relate in an odd, twisted sort of way. But anyways... I like how it was obviously from the mind of a young child at first, and then the years progressed, I could feel the different levels of maturity from the wordings. A very expressive piece here, well written.
~Renay -
So very sad the tradgedies of war. This is an excellent writing!
-
And you said "The Bruise on Anna's Face" was sad??? LOL, this is heartwrenching as well. I've never dealt with anything of this nature so I can only imagine how horrific it would be on a child for their parent to go off far away to something that they don't know or understand. Good job.
Thanks for your comments and applause for "The Bruise on Anna's Face" I loved whatyou had to say. -
Oh, Steve! I can now see why this is your favorite piece - You have captured the mindset of a child so well! It just tears at the heart. You would have to be dead, not to get any emotion at all form this!
The only correction I see, is to change 'past' to 'passed'
This really is remarkable
-
This is heartwrenching and I know there are many children all over the world that have probably said these exact words. Fathers have character, especially those who do what is right. It seems that this father was a gleam in his chil;d's eye. That's character. Very good chronology of a reality. Thanks for sharing and good luck!
Renee
-
oh my god... I have one critical critique to get out of the way: "Daddy's been gone a long time?" is that supposed to be a question? Ok, and now for commentary on the poem. This is so incredibly sad. Is this a reality for you or someone you love? If so, allow me to express my sincere condolences right away. My family and many of my friends are very heavily based in the military and I understand this poem on a personal level. My brother is lucky he can still hear and walk after a bomb went off under his vehicle in Iraq a couple of months ago. This poem really strikes home to many many people these days because of what's going on in other parts of the world. I now have an irrepressible lump in my throat that I can't swallow. What an extremely impacting write. Thank you. Best of luck to you in the contest.
Liz -
awesome
i dont know i hate war although i never have experience about that but i can guess how bad if war happen in this world beautiful poem
asmiati -
wow...
intense poem. I loved the way you illustrated the terrors of war. It was definitely one of the saddest I've read. Written in an interesting fashion, I love that. The originality in this piece works so well..and I love the things your poem speaks about.
Thanks for commenting on my poem, and thanks for sharing!!
PEACE!
See you around AP!
-Britny
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
