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September

I was three that September
and my pig tails
swung like nooses
while I skinned the smell
of bonfires from my arms
and legs as if

I was a surgeon -

it was such precise incisions
crawling up my body
weak in its wake

and I almost
ignored the apples
waiting for my fingers
to fold into fists
fleshy and mechanical

and beat the cider from
their fruity souls
as they drift into barrels
like ghosts in grandmother’s

wardrobe.

 

 

Author notes

Just reflecting, I started writing this a while ago and I never finished it. Today, I did. lol

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Ryno gold member
    March 10, 2008
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    September. *shivers* I hate september... I think every teen does, but I hate september depression even more. I like the way you portrayed the topic of the poem with the apple metaphor...

    Its hard to go back to something that makes us dread waking up.

    Wonderfully written. Very skillful imagery. Thanks for the entry.

    Ryan


  • sidewinder silver member
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    memories touch as we remember those ghosts that smile within our lives and make who we are!

    yes you have me smiling with this as I remember those times of my own past!
    Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
    Bill


  • Hadji Murad
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is quite profound. The ending is pure beauty, and leaves somewhat of a---desolation---in the reader. The hard consonant sounds really emphasize the beat of the stanza. D-rift into ba-rrels like gho-sts in gra-ndmother's war-dro-be. It has a nice flow to it.

    it was such precise incisions
    crawling up my body
    weak in its wake


    Simply beautiful and chilling.

    Great job, as usual.


  • Desire gold member
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wowzers!!

    I miss coming over to Your place of Poetry and inhaling Your words of Wisdom!!
    I've been off and on and I understand You are taking a break but am blessed to know You have that quill
    dancing!
    Miss Your presence

    Love You bunches and wish You only Happiness!
    Thank You for sharing Your quill Sweet Soul!!

    Best wishes to You Beautiful
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Anubis
    October 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Deep in imagery. But obvious metaphors.

    Your work is so deep it's confusing at times. But, then you get this weird sensation and you start to peer deeply into it. Yet I've looked deep in, and find I don't understand it sometimes.. But, I find it interesting to read.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i like the picture that it presents. it is very well written, but i say that about everything you write, then again i only say it because i think you are a great writer, lots of inspiration lately? Josephine getting to work? i just noticed a few bits i havent read, gone off track a little but as i was saying, i like the description a lot, and i really like this line 'weak in its wake' just because of the sounds of weak and wake when i read the line. anyhoo great stuff


  • Thoughtful Seeker
    September 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic job!!

    Wow Lissia, what a great poem. It flowed so smoothly, and I enjoyed the images you portrayed. Like a slide show of a little you making cider and hopping around in leaves. I love it, very September and very you. Keep up the great work.

1 - 7 of 7