Jackson

I wasn't expecting you
when you came around
we were just friends,
goofing around

Every time I saw you
there would be that
sly grin
and a laugh from
me, expected I think

One night we crossed paths
and a chance to talk
no interuptions

I remember thinking
how very different you really were
than the impression I had
kept locked inside
smarter and wiser,
more street smarts
than I had seen
younger than I had realized

Trying to ignore
the way your eyes
made me feel,
stifling the loneliness
we both felt

I never meant to hurt you
I really didn't..
and it makes me ache
to think you'll never know that

or that you thought less of me
for not having the courage
to do the right thing
and tell you the truth
instead of worrying
that I'd hurt you instead

I was just a coward
or maybe self dellusional
to think so highly of myself
don't cha think?

And even now,
I'll see someone
who reminds me of you,
and it makes me miss
your laugh, and your smile
and I finally realize,
not only do I miss our friendship,
but that there is a part of me
that will just...
always love you, J.