Disappearing slowly into a space
Of darkness
I feel deaths cold hands
Touch places I only see
I feel her breath down
My neck
And I want to feel
It again
I shiver as my soul
Is taken
And returned hot
And full of sweet darkness
I wait to hear her voice
As she finds places she likes
And I moan as her lips
Cause sweet chaos down my spine
I smile knowing deaths game
And I wait for blood
Up agents the dark hot walls of hell
I finally feel alive
Shaking as deaths fingers
Run down my chest
Hoping to find my warm center
Death smiles in triumph
As my screams grow
I start to feel as though
I will never stand again
Death has me shaking for more
Her impeccant ever wanting hands
Cling to my curves
As I scream for pain she wins
And I cum
As her sharp nails
Run down my hot swollen breast
I shiver one last time as I
Feel death tighten the cuffs
At my wrist
Then she whispers
Her voice like hot silk
She wants to play again
Author notes
i love this poem. its the first one i have ever writen like this. thank you
A contest entry
- Romantic Paranormal!!! {let's celebrate Halloween!!!!!} by SummerlandRayne.
529 points, ended October 5, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seduce Me, Make Me Cry, Make Me Love... by near1202apocalypse.
450 points, ended October 21, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Guaranteed Comments! by Nam.
425 points, ended October 23, 2007, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by Lucca.
315 points, ended October 29, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Squirm (15+) by Zerstort.
390 points, ended November 10, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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well written but where is your option number?
I liked how this was written, some great imagery and good use of wording and it has a good flow. x -
Well written...
Aden Recreated
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amazing!Good luck in my contest, I can see this going somewhere.
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This poem would read better left-aligned.
"I feel deaths cold hands"
If using "death[s]" as its own entity, then I would recommend making it "Death", and in turn whether you choose to do that or not, since you do seem to be making it its own entity, it would be "death's" or "Death's". If you change it, I would recommend it changed along with any other usage in the poem.
I like how you have "Death" being female. Most writers, or people in general, give Death a male role - so, I like how it's a female role in this one. Of course, if it were male in this particular poem, that'd be an eye-opener, for sure.
A nice poem that you have written here.
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very seductive!
This had so much amazing imagery involved! Loved It!
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OOH! This is beautiful! I just took a cold shower, and now I want another one, damnit
I really loved this one, best of luck to you in the contest!
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This is fantastic!
very different and beautifully
dark and sensuous!
~Pastel
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wow
Great wording and imagery! Love this!
Good luck in the contest.
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Wow. I love the personification of death in this poem. Death's whore, what a career! Sexually dark, darkly sexual, amazing job, well done
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thank you. it means alot to me that you liked it!!
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i love it thats all i have to say.
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thank you sooo much! i am happy that you like it. i worked hard on thing...it really is the first one i have ever written like this...lol
Diamond
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My..my!!! That was very sensual and dark!!! Very...very nice! Thanks for the entry and best of luck! I loved it!
Happy Hauntings~
Az
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