How lucky the stream
in still winter still falling
off Kiyomizu
In earliest spring
even the blind breeze scampers
led between love stones
In long-endured Fall
shedding trees bequeath pilgrims
wish-hanging branches
As temple decks groan
the crowded, enmeshed summer
honors lingering spirits
Author notes
Yes, I know I put 7 syllables in the last line.
A contest entry
- Kiyomizu Temple in Kyoto by azure85.
600 points, ended September 28, 2007, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Hmmmm....
Comments
-
Nice seasonal haiku that gives the feeling of the temple. Seven syllables in the last line? Hey, break the rules occasionally. It makes things more interesting.
-
Purdy!
I enjoyed this little reading and its really makin me smile. any ways I enjoyed reading it alot because it really made alot of sense and the e-motions built through out this poem really stung me good in the heart. I felt like I could feel everyhting flowing in motion and thus it enhanced the poem. any ways very well done congrats on HM trophy and keep up the good work
-
A lovely trip through the seasons of Kiyomizu Temple. Each one is a beautiful scene, thank you so much for this haiku chain.
-
well, well, well, what have we here? Something quite nice, I dare say.
Adding your comment:
