Young hawk rips its prey
grey-white feathers drift like snow
with bright autumn leaves~
Author notes
"This is a great form of poetry that flows from my thoughts,though the picture I see is greater,I have summed it up all beautifully in such short verse."
A contest entry
- Haiku, write of Insects or Birds by InBetweenThoughts by InBetweenThoughts.
600 points, ended September 29, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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excellent imagery
The hawk is a beautiful and powerful bird. You express his natural ability to find food very well in your haiku. I have seen those white feathers drifting a few times. lol
Good luck in the contest!
Ethereal One
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picturesque
You create quite a picture with your few words. This has both action and description. Usually I find haiku lines can stand on their own. Your last two lines fit together as one. The "with" does that. You may consider a non-joining word there. But that is only my personal preference and certainly not the opinion of an expert. You are far better at Haiku's and nature poems than I. -
I will return and comment when contest is over
best of luck! -
Thank you for your wonderful Haiku
the images are spectacular, the scene you have penned is very clear and beautiful..best wishes, Ken IBT
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thank you all
Thank you all so much for your comments on this haiku
Haiku is kinda a hard form for me..so I have to try try try...and I was hoping this was the correct syllable count...after watch Animal Planet all I could think of was a hawk with some food it's beak....had one pic of a hawk sitting on a post with some prey but it wouldn't of been flying so couldn't use that pic but used this one instead...
Again thank you all so much for the comments...
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Making me appreciate autumn and hawks. Our sky is filled with them, some days.
One day there were about 50 circling our neighborhood! 
Were they looking for me? 
Your haiku is lovely!
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Beautiful Haiku, Blush, it is one of my favorite forms.
Brazos
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Well done haiku, Sis!
I have a hard time dealing with nature's cruelty so I won't comment on the subject matter but you did a good job describing a bird of prey.
Best of Luck in the contest!
Love ya!
Maureen
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WOW! Stunning Haiku! Good luck in your contest!!
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woooot woooooot you have captured it so well,
wonderful Haiku,
A fun from to work with glad to see you did it perfecto.
Love and Light
TEarz -
this is really pretty, you sure know how to make the hawk look like an eagle so carefree in the autumn .
good luck in the contest..mm -
Wonderful imagery here sis. I really enjoyed this
But I always thought a haiku was only 3 lines
syllables 5/7/5 the amount of syllables are correct
But I may be mistaken
lovely sis
Delila
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Oh my! Field mice and rabbits, Beware! There is such a contrast of visuals in this haiku. Very effect imagery, with the reminder that some of the seasons in life are all about survivial. Very well done, Susan.
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Wonderful
Oh my such a great haiku. Best of luck in the contest.
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Wow,
A very wonderful haiku sweet soul!
Thanks for sharing you, peace.
All the best within this contest.
-Timothy
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