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Loving your Betrayal

You seemed to fall from heaven afar,

The answer to my shooting star,

I loved all that you were and are...

How could I know that you'd betray me?

 

I asked if I could have this chance,

To wrap ourselves in each others' romance,

For I found myself in a loving trance...

Never predicting you'd betray me.

 

Everything seemed to be going just fine,

And I came to believe you were finally mine,

Just holding your hand felt truly divine...

That is, before you betrayed me.

 

I knew I had found my oyster's pearl,

And in the dance of love I began to twirl,

Yet when I turned my back you crushed my world...

For t'was then that you betrayed me.

 

One whom I had called a friend,

One I thought I could trust until the end,

From my tender grip your heart did rend...

And then you went and betrayed me.

 

You two were never meant to be,

He could never love you as much as me,

And from his incompetence you did flee...

But you had already betrayed me.

 

Sometimes I look into the past,

Wondering how we didn't last,

But I come to the answer all too fast...

All because you went and betrayed me.

 

Yet I know towards you there'll be no hate,

For meeting you was a gift of fate,

And though you may realize it all too late,

I'm even loving your betrayal.

 

 

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Kristen Corpse
    January 15, 2008

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    Well, I must say that this piece definitely reminds me of one of my dear ex girlfriends; correction: My ex fiancé. I like the flow of this piece. Each stanza told a little story in and of itself. The last line of each stanza holding the word "betray" in it in any form really helped the flow of this piece immensely.

    Excellent job. Such a sad story when someone betrays you but you penned it wonderfully. Keep up the good work, dear poet.

    Always and forever,
    Kristen ♥


  • ValentineSvetlana
    December 28, 2007

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    I love the rhythm of this, and the images that you have, but I think you could do so much more if you weren't bound by the rhyme scheme.


  • Ringside
    December 28, 2007

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    Great Write

    I really liked the structure. I thought it was a great piece. I thought the phase "betrayed me was a little over used. But, overall great write!!


  • Tarja
    December 28, 2007

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    I am usually not a huge fan of the repetitive rhyme scheme that you used but this actually worked very well. I enjoyed the depth and the intensity of your words. Wonderful job.

  • Vaskis4life
    October 20, 2007

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    once again, amazing poem! i love the repetition of 'betray', i mean, i don't know anything about poetry, but this is sitll amazing.


  • Hidden Fortress
    September 26, 2007

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    Sick and twisted

    In your own way, this poem shows the feeling of full on heart felt feelings. I love this poem. Awesome write.

1 - 6 of 6