Oh faithless angel, do not be shy
Don’t let those tears form in your eye
Don’t run away, I know where you hide,
Sit all alone and mournfully cry
Dear broken angel, do not be sad
Don’t reminisce about things that you had
Look to the future, don’t dwell on the past
Some things are just...not built to last
Why shaking angel, do not let go
It’s never all lost, there is always hope
As long as I’m here, I want you to know
I’ll pick you back up when you’re feeling low
My favourite angel, do not give up
I know that you’re tired and you’ve had enough
But please let me try and show you some love
It’s all I’ve got (I’d give more if I could)
Hey lonely angel, won’t you be mine?
For I am one too and know what it’s like
And I promise, I promise that I’ll always try
To silence your tears and stifle your sighs
So shining angel, go light up the sky
And sprinkle your magic on me and my life
I’ll fix your old wings and you can do mine
And together one day we’ll learn how to fly
A contest entry
- anything goes. by warrior-eagle.
600 points, ended October 3, 2007, 50 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Love by live in love.
500 points, ended October 9, 2007, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold from Green #3 by Grey Mouser.
300 points, ended November 3, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
-
Thank you so much for your entry in our contest 'Love' to look for the best 'rhymer' on Allpoetry, in our opinion.
As we have had nearly 100 entries this has been a difficult contest to judge and although not a winner, we thoroughly enjoyed reading your entry.
We hope that you will enter the rest of the rounds in our Rhyming Extravaganza.
All the best Sue and Jeff.
-
very pretty good flow and rhyme!
WWW* -
-
Thanks
-
-
Awesome!
This flows so well and the rhyming is well done. It has wonderful depth and meaning. What more can I say?
-
-
Thank you x
-
-
Excellent Writing
These angels will fly
both light the sky
With attitude like this
they'll end in bliss -
-
Aww thank you very much,
I do hope that is true,
Your words are uplifting,
I wish bliss on you too.
-
-
Awwww this was beautiful! I don't think I could even pick a favorite part but I really liked the end. Your rhyme was perfect and not forced at all. Whoever this is about is really lucky to have you.
-
-
Aww thank you very much for your wonderful comment take care x
-
-
Wonderful message that you have delivered in this piece. About the care of always being there and not letting the others get down to far.
The start flows with rhyme and then gets lost as you go on to the finish. Kinda throws one off a bit. But the flow was still good.
Thanks for entering into the contest.
Be well and be blessed,
Mouser -
-
Thanks for the comment x
-
-
Beautiful Congratulations on the Hm Good lUck in Girlishs COntest.
-
-
Haha thanks, but I just swapped it for another one
x
-
-
You know, I really liked this. Even though much of my writing is dark I have a weakness for love poetry of this sort. It shows that life and love arent always going to be exactly what we want, but still worthwhile ya know?
Very well done once again
Raker
-
-
Yeah life and love never seem to go to plan do they...thanks again! x take care x
-
-
I never commented on this!!!!
SHocking
But I read it before everyone else and you know that .. *evil grin*
My favourite angel, do not give up
I know that you’re tired and you’ve had enough
But please let me try and show you some love
It’s all I’ve got (I’d give more if I could)
You and angels will go a long long way ... *sigh*
Well, as long as those angels dont take you away from here ... I don't mind
Another excellent write as I told you on msn, You keep getting better and you better believe it
Never ♥
-
The slow revealation of information in this piece kept me amused and held up the length with fact. The idea of someone you love being an angel is a popular subject for writing, (a sad angel, none the less) but you have managed to make an original piece out of it. I really enjoyed this, as it portrayed love without once using the word. My favorite part was probably this:
Dear broken angel, do not be sad
Don’t reminisce about things that you had
Look to the future, don’t dwell on the past
Some things are just...not built to last
As well as the oxymoronic statement of faithless, especially at the beginning to grab my eye. All in all, I suppose I liked the whole thing. Great piece. -
-
Thanks for your great comment, I hadn't realised that iI hadn't used love and I hadn't realise how oxymoronic it was until you said! Haha x take care x
-
-
Hello...
-
Dear broken angel, do not be sad
Don’t reminisce about things that you had
Look to the future, don’t dwell on the past
Some things are just...not built to last
Yes.I agree with that. THis wasa great poem; dedicated to me(just kidding).But it was awesome and i felt each and every word.great! -
Very Good
This is a very well penned piece here . Yes to see ones about yuo and the love they so need is a wonderful thing and a great thing to reach out to them so they can see
-
-
Thank you very much for your comment x take care x
-
-
This is just a wonderful poem with a lovely lyrical flow and was unique in the way you seem to be the one who is guarding the guardian angel. A real pleasure to read. Keep up the marvelous work.
David
-
-
Thank you
-
-
Blows my mind......
Hey lonely angel, won’t you be mine?
For I am one too and know what it’s like
And I promise, I promise that I’ll always try
To silence your tears and stifle your sighs
So shining angel, go light up the sky
And sprinkle your magic on me and my life
I’ll fix your old wings and you can do mine
And together one day we’ll learn how to fly
Your gifts for rhyme, metaphor, rhythm, meter, and fluidity are absolutely brilliant!! I have no doubt in my mind that you are one of the most brilliant poets I have ever read. Every line shines like hulking diamonds.
-
-
Aww I don't know about that "I have no doubt in my mind that you are one of the most brilliant poets I have ever read" haha, stop making me blush! It's so encouraging to get reviews from people like you...your reviews also shine with diamonds!
Thanks for the comment! xxx
-
-
YOU!!!...
an Angel!!!...More good words come from the mighty pen of the "MIX" and you got them in the right order too! Very well done as usual, (DAM!) Good content, good rhyme and flow...GOOD WORK! (Don't forget to check your wings before you jump out the window!) U.F.I.
-
-
The MIX <-- I'm like that lol
I wish I did have wings...I mean...it would be so cool! The guy in X-men 3 had it all wrong, you don't wanna cut them off!!!
Thanks for your wonderful(ish) words of wisdom.
Leicester beat Villa last night!!
Coventry beat Manchester United
AND
Tom Huddlestone (My girlfriend happens to be called Thomasine Huddlestone) scored for Tottenham!
Thanks again x take care x
-
-
Awwww....that's amazingly sweet. I love how everything flows so easily, and it seems kinda greeting-card like but in a good way. The one thing that doesn't seem to fit is (I'd give more if I could). The sentiment is fine, I like it a lot, but it doesn't seem to quite work. But really, this is fantastic and I love it tons. Great, great job.
-
-
Aww thanks for the wonderful comment and applause, it means a lot hehe x
-
-
Fantastic poem, I love it, it's so beautiful, it made me cry ! (in a good way)/
-
-
Awww thanks! That's such a sweet comment hehe! Awww, embarrased now hehe. Take care and thanks for the applause too! x
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 32 of 32
