They walk together hand in hand
strangers in a barren land
He bruises easy she bruises hard
All they have to show are scars.
The world around is closing in
And they are closing out
They're giving out and giving in
but never giving up.
He's losing grip she's losing touch
Neither of them says so much
He's a wall and she's a room
empty as a broken tomb.
She's a fight and he's a wave
searching for a soul to save.
The world around is closing in
And they're closing farther out.
They're leaning back and standing up
And keeping love intact.
She's standing firm he's standing tall
Both of them will risk it all.
She's holding back he's holding in
Neither lets the darkness win.
They fit so well they break so hard
and they haven't gotten very far.
They walk along still alone
alike in body and in soul.
They hear the taps they see the grave
They see a road too hard to pave.
She takes his heart he takes her hand
They take a moment just to stand.
And together,
They keep walking....
Author notes
I know it seems sad... but this is supposed to be uplifting at the end.
Written September 30th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Love by aeg1290.
700 points, ended December 11, 2005, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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Love forever. Thank you so much for sharing this, it is touching. I'm so glad to have gotten the chance to read your work. Thank you for entering!
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breathtaking
This was definately an amazing poem...I loved this so much...it was beautiful, you described everything very very well...the flow was absolutely perfect, and the rhyming was good too. It was fantastic. Thanks for entering and good luck~this was exactly what I was looking for in the love poems...it's different, nothing like I see everytime I read one.
Edited on Oct 28, 5:47 p.m. because ''. -
This poem is awesome!!! And I really love the background! It's beautiful and it goes together perfectly. I love the way it flowed so easily. It seems like you just took the pen and went. I love how you used the ways of describing him and her and how their love was. I have always wanted a love like this. This poem is so beautiful. You did such a fantastic job!!! Keep up the awesome work!
Love,
Caitlin -
Beautiful!
Beautiful! Well written..Good luck in the contest.
Betty -
This is beautiful! I love the rhyming and the wording. Good job!!!
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hey great poem. i liked the rhyming! good work, keep it up.
~LiL Woody -
wow this is truly beautiful....thought maybe i had a chance...until now....j/k....beautiful write....the picture is amazing and fits so well with the poem...the flow is amazing...great write!
Always
Bridget -
I like how these two seem different, yet there is something that draws them together. One is a room - the other a wall, one a wave, the other a fight... always working things out together. Finally, he takes her hand, she his mind - different needs, he and she - always being met.
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A lovely poem of true love and support for two people who are soul-mates,Ros
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Thank you for entering my contest! This is the best poem I've read so far! Good job, and good luck!
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Wonderful Poem!
A battle of wills going on here between these two people, they're different but yet so similiar. Your use of metaphors are simply wonderful and the background gives it that final appeal, it works well with the poem. I enjoyed and thanks for the read. Avril
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Awesome Job!
I really liked how you went back and forth between him and her, showing their similarities and differences. I was sitting here working on some string tricks with my hand and I completely forgot everything I was doing when I started reading this. It does have a great flow.. except for the fourth stanza.. you kinda lost me there for a few seconds, just didn't seem to fit into the rhyme scheme for me. Other than that, great job! And gl in the contest (Hope you win ^_^)
~Mist~ -
Oh wow. Wonderful job! The imagery was just breathtaking and the picture is so beautiful and it fits so well!
Great write, and good luck in the contest!
-Principessa -
This is a really nice poem. I think that it is great for descriptions. Awesome write. Great flow, and it sounds kinda personal which is always great. Awesome job. Keep up the great writing.
Rivkah -
Amazing
great poem! i wish i could write as good as you!
~lisa~
Edited on Jul 07, 7:58 p.m. because ''. -
why thank you.
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Welcome to round 2
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This poem is really awesome..Ihope u win..ur really talented! Keep up the great work..I love the rhyming the flow is great!
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This is beautiful. I love the rhyming in it, very nice flow without forcing it. The ending was brilliant, so sweet. *Goes awww*
Very well done. Best of luck in the contest 
~Lana
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Aww, this is truly beautiful. This is the kind of thing I love to read. And I don't even remember which number the love one was about, but you're right, this fits beautifully.
Nice write. I really enjoyed it. -
Lovely!!
A lovely poem that paints the walk of life very well. The background goes so well with this poem. I liked how you pointed out their differences, but also how they've managed to fuse it together - being one, but also being true to themselves - bringing their pasts with them and walking together into the future. Some lovely metaphors in this poem and the layout works very well. A very enjoyable poem that I think paints the process of love very well. Good luck in the contest~
~ Nicolette
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Very nicely written, works for me.
Nicely written, i love the way you express the people as individuals but not, hope you get me. I liked it alot. -
I agree with shaitus...but VERY beautifully written, deep and metiphorical I like the part:They walk together hand in hand
strangers in a barren land
He bruises easy she bruises hard
All they have to show are scars.
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word up*
This is beautifully written. good luck in the contest!!! Keep it up , i' know you'll win* -
actually i am published.
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Outstanding
O MY GOSH!!!! That is great!!!! Why are you not a published poet i mean dang that is an awsome poem i absolutly love it -
this is breath-taking lol. I love the whole 'in' 'outs' usage! Very creative and it had a great ending
-shelly -
This is a wonderful piece. It makes me think of two people standing the test of time. It seems as though through it all they will make it and not let each other down. I see him as being the one who has to remain stronger for the both of them and her as being the one who is coming apart, however she has such a strong guard with many defenses surrounding her that she struggles to let down to let him in. Absolutely stunning work about give and take and nothing forceful about it. Wonderful job. Thank you for entering.
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A lovely piece about love and how people will fight to keep a hold of that love. Beautiful poem.
Jenn
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I am in total AWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWW.... I love it.
Yvonne
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the two characters complement each other so well, and the way you describe the two of them against and for one another is amazing...ve
ry beautiful, and perfect to the way a couple really does complement each other. well done, good write! -
Very nice work.
But,
Comparisons between He and She is
taking your attention as it is repeating
many times.
~shaitus -
"He's losing grip she's losing touch
Neither of them says so much
He's a wall and she's a room
empty as a broken tomb."
Absolutely wonderful! There is this beauty within the isolation and pain expressing in this poem. You have done a great job detailing this wonderful story. Wonderful!
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Have you posted this elsewhere? It's so familiar to me! It's very well wriiten! ~Laura
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amazed
wow!! this is beautiful!! the message is so moving and the eloquence with which you write is amazing. the trials and troubles and the way that they will make it through. and they keep walking...the story continues. can't wait for more. blessings and lovestars!! -
I try to put my finger on what the strong appeal is here. I think it is in the dichotomy of contrasts you show so simply but well. The struggle revealed by ins and outs and back and forths. But the final joining together in the fight is what brings it all together in a gentle yet decisive way.
The flow is absolutely perfect to the sense your words convey.
Bravo! -
This is great, the way you read it just flows, and the word play definately, all the ins, outs and backs (in simple terms) its a good theme that you followed and a great way to show their difference, love the piece!
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I love the contrasts in this poem, and how it seems to prove the saying "opposites attract" true. The flow here is simply amazing, it drags your eyes through itself at a fevered pitch, but they still manage to catch every detail and delight within. Keep them coming, Cinders.
-+SanguineSaint+- -
A very nice poem about two people, it's like they are together yet so far apart nicely contrasted.
Lakota x -
Very beautiful poem.. I agree with Kat, something about it does seem familiar... but very nice
Your background makes it just a little hard to read though, or maybe it's my old eyes.. Maybe if you changed the text color?
The words are too powerful to lose in a background
Kudos, great job
GypsyDreamer -
well, as i've earlier indicated, it seems somehow familiar to me.
it's very good though: it has sort of an ongoing series of complements and contrasts, but all of it is unified. it has a very good rhythm.
-Kat
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