How can you not see?
See what darlin?
(said with that goofy smile I love to see,
as if you were the face of the moon)
Can you not see the fluttering of breath
as it catches in my throat
and drapes itself across my shoulders
for the public's entertainment.
Fox fur in an age where it is inappropriate
to display carnal interest,
physical, emotional ...
or otherwise?
(Slowly a finger reaches out
to caress the sound of a gasp
escaping
just because I know your touch).
How can you not see?
I see those sighs and pent-up breaths huddling together darlin'
(That silly smile again)
You can let them all out now hun
fox is making a comeback in my world.
A contest entry
- Song Quote as Inspiration ~ Come check it out by StormGoddess.
450 points, ended September 26, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
wonderful imagery love the
fox metaphor too..so wonderful is love...you wrote this
out so beautifully, honestly, bold of you to do!
There is a beautiful beautiful woman inside you, keep it
up this wonderful write that speaks to all our hearts!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen
-
-
Kathleen
If I could give you a hug right now I would. Thank you for this lovely comment and for really making an effort to comment constructively. Your compliments are making me blush. You have made my day.
-
-
I love it when a lady is in touch with the 'inner woman' enough to know what she wants and strong enough to know how to get it. Convention and passing fads never stopped me from doing anything...lol. Best wishes in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
-
-
Oh Leo, my friend, thank you so much. I loved doing this piece and I am so glad you enjoyed it. You know how much your comments mean to me, don't you?
-
-
Haven't read anything from you in the longest time B and am SO glad that I am now
Your words are wonderful and you have done the quote justice - well done my friend
-
-
Thank you hun. You are so special do you know? I love ya.
-
-
Very different, but well done.
I like the realistic feel to the whole piece.
Nicely done take on the prompt.
Thank you for entering and good luck.
Storm -
-
It was a great prompt ... thanks for the contest. It was fun and I am glad you liked this different take.
-
-
wow...im speech less
-
-
Speechless good ... or speechless bad?
-
-
How extraordinary
This is exceptional. I love the position ths takes without needing to shout it out. Very expressive.
Nice stuff, really nice.
Terry
-
-
Thank you Tercarro. Your comments have been wonderful. Thanks again.
-
-
this piece just made me smile. I loved it so much. Though I'm not sure I FULLY understood it, I loved it all the same. It was unique and brilliantly written. The flow was perfect. Amazing!
WWW*
-
-
Thank you so much. It was a dialogue between two. The inspiration was from the prompt in the contest basically asking whther that person could see how much they were loved. I am glad you loved it.
-
-
Oh wow, I just loved this. The endline is superb, and a little humorous, to boot!! Best of luck to you in this contest! Thanks again for reading my work,
Always love,
jin
-
-
Thank you for the wonderful comment. Your words really meant a lot to me. Sorry that I could not give you more stars on this - I seem to be unable to do that on this computer.
-
-
Brilliant work - so complex and clever. Like the running theme of 'breath' and lots of great lines: "as if you were the face of the moon" especially. Good luck in the contest.
-
-
Thank you so much. Your words really lifted me and you are appreciated. You deserve 5 stars for this comment.
-
-
Beautiful write. Sometimes a touch from a lover, especially a sensual one can make things seem better in life. Can help drive emotions. Good luck in the contest.
-
-
Thank you my friend. Your comments always mean a lot to me. I always watch out for you. Off to your page I go again as your writing means a lot to me too.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
