You certainly have a thing for organs
The harvest moon is blood & gold
There are my cigarettes,
and there are the seven sisters
Not a cloud in forever
Where, where are you now?
Tracking through my heart.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I'm not really sure what you are talking about here. I think this has as little description as possible. I see what you are trying to say, but I don't really feel your emotion that you are portraying. There seems to be no emotion. I just don't feel like you gave enough in these few lines.
I'm sorry.
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That's because your grasp of poetry is equal to your grasp of astronomy, and love. Meaning you know nothing about any of the three. You're obviously a girl under 20 that used to cut, loves emo, and has the style sense of avril lavigne high on stinky g-strings and canadien no-dooze.
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interesting...
This poem makes you think, b.c it is soo descripitive. I like that about it. Good Jobb
~Lexii -
hmm. Im not sure what to say to this except FANTASTIC!! It was cryptic*i think thats the right word* it made me think and I could actually imagine what was going on. Good job.
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this was really good and it ahd a lot of imagery to it! i loved it! thank you for sharing! merry christmas!
~Dommi -
Maybe you should use more puncuation on this, but it's good. This is very unique to me. I come to allpoetry and tell my self "well what Do you excpect, It's allpoetry, Your gonna see unique poems". Lol
Keep on Writing!!
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I would suggest using a few more commas and full stops to slow the whole poem down, but your style is your own, I'm sure you know what you're doing
You certainly have a thing for organs
The harvest moon is blood & gold
This is a really well written and thought out piece or writing. It show initiative and creativity. I congratulate your 5 star performance! well done, keep up the brilliant work! -
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Where, pray tell, would you put another comma?, and or "full stop"? In a poem with less than forty words.
Especially since the line breaks themselves act as commas and full stops. Lets take a moment and ask jesus.
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cj
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heart to aorta to artery to extremity or capillary or erection to vein and back to heart again, tiny dancer in my bad, bad monkey
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So what is it about then? Nice title.
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It's about a girl, aren't they all?
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http://allpoetry.com/poem/2153082 that one isn't about a girl. It is about my retard nephew.
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You know what that made me think of? No, do you want to know? Maybe. Here goes;
It made me think of a man, lying on his back in a field at night, smoking a cigarette, after being given the news that he only has weeks to live as he is dying of cancer, enjoying what is left of his life and the world around him.
I may be wrong, I most likely am but fuck it. That is what the poem meant to me, you only wrote it.
Nice picture, have you changed your hair?
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"That is what the poem meant to me, you only wrote it."
That's priceless.
No, I did not change my hair, I changed my diaper. -
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Everything has a price, take my mother for example, actually no, she is free. It isn't priceless, £300 and it is yours.
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the heart may be prettier
the spleen is still the source
I am bewilered
and in a pause
are these tracks deep or just kinda squishy?
i dreamt i saw you
last nights visions were uncontrolled!
fire and popcorn, theifs and traffic!
i am not sure what my subconcious is attempting
but you were there...
in a museum
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That's why they call me the curator.
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