I FEAR …
I fear from my fear
If it will make me dead
If it will cut my red
Or will make me mad
If it will tell me to die
How can I tell lie to her
That I was killed
By my fear or by my own self
I m dieing under my melancholy
Might my fear could talk to me
And I can ask why it happens
That I always be scary
From moments, from whiles,
And from unknown twists
I m feeling fear from my fear
If it will make me cry as it does
My fear makes my lovers sad
But how can I stop my scary whine
By A.Ghani Shahzaib
The poet of hearts and beautiful words
The one who lives in hearts!
Friend for friends
Author notes
unknown fears,....4) FEAR
A contest entry
- (my ap family) prewrite contest by serenity silvermoon.
490 points, ended January 28, 115 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For my favourites and the 'Beautiful Minds Dark Addictions' group by Winged Unicorn.
700 points, ended February 26, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A PREWRITE CONTEST FOR my brothers and sisters only by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended March 1, 44 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ONE YEAR ON AP!!! by Missa.
400 points, ended April 15, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark writes contest!!!! Check it out by Englandgirl2008.
450 points, ended May 17, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fear is the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind by Miss Macabre.
750 points, ended July 4, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
one of those 5 things, with which im deeply attached,FEAR!
Comments
1 - 64 of 64
-
This was a very confusing poem. The way you worded things really threw me. The flow seemed to be broken up in various places because of certain lines.
If it will make me dead
If it will cut my red
That doesn't make much sense...but perhaps you are being abstract? Anyway, thanks for entering and good luck. -
this was wonderful! (:
i can tell that you are an amazing writer, i cant wait to read more of your stuff! (:
-
loved this:
I fear from my fear
If it will make me dead
If it will cut my red
Or will make me mad
If it will tell me to die
fear is completely natural reaction to this scary world and even our inner selves. Trust in God and pray to ease those fears. After the hardship...there is ease brother.
-
a deep write that is full of emotion, we all have inner fears and battle with them daily, this is a good demonstration of how these fears can take over our thoughts and lives if we let them, keep up the good work my friend, a pleasure reading your work as usual
-
-
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3443200
thanks for reading, due to my two tough contest's judgment, i couldn't say you thanks
but im so happy with you comment
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
-
-
Good
Interesting read. I particularly like the line 'my fear makes my lovers sad' : ) -
-
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3443200
thanks for reading, due to my two tough contest's judgment, i couldn't say you thanks
but im so happy with you comment
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
-
-
Thank you for sharing this with me & the Group......may I say, that.....*Fear*...is not of God, or aything Good.....Fear is from satan himself......I hope you take that to heart....if you ever want to talk....you know where to find me....Bless you,
Bear ~
-
-
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3443200
thanks for reading, due to my two tough contest's judgment, i couldn't say you thanks
but im so happy with you comment
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
-
-
This is a courageous piece,very gripping.Wonderful imagery. A couple of small things..maybe in line 6 you want the plural "lies" or one lie, (if so you don't need the "tell")??In the 9th line a spelling error.. dying.Also the 3rd line in the second stanza do you mean I'm always scared rather than "that I always be scary" ? I'm not being critical I think the poem is beautiful, I just want to understand your intentions completely, and I'll add that I really love the last 2 lines. Nice write!
-
-
hummz, thanks so much
I shall revise it
-
-
oh ur poems are really good and emotional i love them keep up the good work
-
-
thanksssssssss
-
-
This was pretty good, I really did enjoy this one. Well written, great view into dark fears of fear itself.
-
-
thanks alot
-
-
Well written and is well sketched. Yet, I think you might find a need to revice some typos.
I enjoyed this and felt like I was in the innerself of your fear. Nicely written.
Much love
~Noor -
-
-
Extreemly Well Written My Friend !
I really like this poem it is really good. Might my fear could talk to me. And I could ask why it happens. That I alway's be scary Frpm Moments. And from unknown twist. I'm feeling fear from my fear, It will make me cry as it does. my fear makes me lovers sad, But how can I stop my scary whine.Good job and God Bless You Alway's ! Brenda Gae
-
-
thanks for so lovely comment
-
-
Wow! Such a great piece...full of emotion and unique imagery. It was very relatable and flowed well.
Thanks for sharing!!
-
-
thanks alottttttttttttttt
-
-
This poem cant be read, the font is too dark.
-
-
hey, the font is okay now
-
-
"I fear from my fear" and the similar line in the second stanza is grammatically awkward, and doesn't make sense. "How can I tell lie to her" is also incorrect grammar (how can I lie to her) "dying" is spelled wrong, and don't even get me started with the second stanza's grammar. More importantly, "fear" is a big abstract word which is never nailed down in this piece, so this poem never touches me, never even gestures to me. Fear of what? How can the reader identify with something you never explain? Being brutally harsh because you asked for it.
-
-
ages ago i had corrected dying as dieing
... granny told that dieing is the correct spelling 
and now you are telling that dying is correct
"I fear from my fear" and the similar line in the second stanza is grammatically awkward, and doesn't make sense. "How can I tell lie to her" is also incorrec
this one is your own likeness... the fear i have shown in this piece felt by many of readers.. so im no worrying about your this point
at first when i read your comment i was shocked but its okay now
Thanks for giving time
-
-
dying is like lying in spelling .. dieing is not correct in the usage. your granny must have been confused.. there is another words dyeing that is for colouring dye on hair. check this link for more information
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=die
again when say " you tell lie to her" its also in correct because lie is telling a false information.. you cant tell telling a false information
it must be either " you tell A lie to her" or " you lie to her"
again your second line "If it will make me dead" your dead once you die.. so you meant was that your fear is killing you.. so you can rephrase it such as " if it bring me my death" .
this a very unique write but serious revision is needed.. i like your depth in it but your choice of words are lil different
-
-
-
Great
I fear from my fear
If it will make me dead
If it will cut my red
Or will make me mad
If it will tell me to die
How can I tell lie to her
That I was killed
By my fear or by my own self
I m dieing under my melancholy
I love the opening stanza...I have also felt smothered by my own fears and melancholy. The want to just end it all to stop the fear that holds you captive...Great write. ~mandie~ -
-
thank you so much for pretty comment
-
-
very deep
very deep i must say.. fear is a death of its own... you must not allow fear to consume you..fear only your god. blessed be... Green Mother Rose
-
Every one gets scared crazy boy,Its ok. Remember me? Im back,too. =] Beautfiul work,i loved this.
-Crazy Girl.
-
-
missing you sooooooooooo much Crazy girl
-
hummz thanx alottttttttttt Crazy Girl....
I'm too much happy with you come back and comment..
just pray if i will be alive in next 10 days.. having the toughest days of life..
it will kill me
-
-
Wow This is really Good !
Not only does it tell alot about one's soul, but it tells about your heart as well. I really like this part the best even though I am impressed with this whole poem: I'm feeling fear from my fear, If it will make me cry as it does, My fear makes my lovers sad, But how can I stop my scary whine.Keep up the wonderful writing and wording.Very well written ! Brenda Gae -
-
thanx for such Honor
your comment meant alot to me
-
-
Well written words ot truth from the heart...I have always loved the saying "there is nothing to fear but fear it's self"...for I do believe we create so many of our own unneeded...nicely expressed and attention getting...nicely done!
Thank you for sharing!
-
-
thanx for such Honor
-
-
this is such a nice write! i like it! btw, welcome back to AP!
-
-
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4302065
i have sent it just now.. an addicting Sonnet
i hope you will like it
and thanksssssss alotttttt for wellcoming me
love for you
by
The poet of hearts and beautiful words -
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4302065
i have sent it just now.. an addicting Sonnet
i hope you will like it
and thanksssssss alotttttt for wellcoming me
love for you
by
The poet of hearts and beautiful words
-
-
LOVELY! YOU ARE FABULOUS! WELCOME BACK!
-
-
i just want to chat with any APianz.. may i talk with you ????
-
Thank you.. i thought i would get a beautiful wellcome.. but i saw people are too much busy in thier works.. AP was never like tht... people were too amazing and friendly
im really hurt by thier behaviour
well. thanx alot, you are the first one to say me wellcome
-
-
well written and so sad
please keep writing and let your talent flow as for your fears please let them go
-
awesome
i really like this i totally understand
sorry i have not beeen on for a while but i will read more keep in touch
stars
-
Sort that font out!!
I fear... you don't want people to see your Fear!!
Overall I liked your poem, you raised many valid points regarding the concept of Fear.
All the best
~T.S~
-
sorry
No offence, but that made no sence whatsoever.
Not to mension I could barely read it because the font is almost the same colour as the background.
and "but how can i stop my scary whine" ain't a good line. -
No fear of expression here...
You've broken rules that bind most poets with many of these expressions that scream defiance of normality. These crazy insights had me reeling over and over again, but in the end I felt connected and fortunate to have read your message. Nice art!
-
Wow. Definitely good but I think it might have been even better if it rhymed. Just one lowly poets opinion, though. Definitely 5 stars!
-
Nice write but honestly, I didn't like the font colour you used on this background...Peace
-
hmmm
I like it... though , the guy was right I fear the font color lol. I think that you've have grasp of what every person in everyway has felt when feeling fear.. Good job -
I fear the dark fonts used in this post. neat words tho.
-
awwwwwwwww i really like this you put feeling into it and its really good you are great nice work
-
well this poem had alot of pain and somebody messaged me wanting me to read to help judge something...please message me back letting me know what you want me to do.
anyways i liked this poem it was amazing and you did an amazing job with this peice! -
I really understand where you are coming from. Fear ruins everything for me lately. A bit hard to rid though :/
great job.
-
I totally understand what you are saying here.. change the font color because one can't read with the black background.
Yvonne -
good write.
May want to rethink the font color, its a bit dark making it a little hard to read -
i liked the very beging i caught my attention and the rest just kept it going good write
-
omg, you have used so many beautiful words. i love how you have made your lines flow with eachother fantastic work!
-
Personally, I didn't move me much. Maybe I'm just a cruel heartless person or I'm just weird. I'm settling for the latter. I found that it was hard to read due to the color of the text against the background. Maybe that's why I didn't like it, because I couldn't read it. Also, dying is spelled "d-y-i-n-g," not "d-i-e-i-n-g. Ignore the grammar/spelling Nazi for now.
-R.T -
The mind holds all
The mind holds all thoughts and feelings let your heart bring out the best of the thoughts . For its the thoughts you dwell upon that rules your world . Let not fear of the unknown be present for its up to you to replace those thoughts of fear with confidence through admitting you are the controler of your mind . Push the fear away and replace it with the ability to live for fear is only what we make it to be just as love . Love yourself and find comfort and joy within and others will follow . What makes you happy for no one can bring you joy if you dont find it within and know who you are and what life can be with the proper thoughts to keep .We all have thoughts we are afraid at times and yes they are very strong indeed . But you have to push those thoughts away and reach out so others can see your visions from within
This is a very thought provoking read with whispers of I want to be me how can this be for fesr has taken hold of me. You can change your train of thought for as you begine to dwell on a good thought you will lose the fear and replce it with joyand freedom of the mind
-
You really show a vulnerable sensitive side in your words, being able to be completely honest and to lay your soul out on a page is what a real poet does. Great work!!
-
wow this is good i loved the entire thing
-
-
i have points more than you can imagine
-
-
Yes it is I,Crazy girl. I know it has been a very long time...this poem is very beautiful. Keep up the
good work,love.
your crazy girl.
Adding your comment:
1 - 64 of 64
