An infallible heart absolute,
did let the deviant to err.
By transgressions vile and base,
Compounded all unto itself now
for simply not knowing why.
Through storied distant echoes-
from astral planes most perverted;
Every High place and the seventh circle of Hell,
conspire now to laugh at you
with faces twisted and bloated.
Sending with signal and summon
throughout the great expanse of space,
a pleading cry most shrill;
Seven dead roses are the only ones
To hear you beckon,
and they wilt to encourage you to lament.
An eon will you wonder and wait-
lust so strong to entice your hopes;
This distant esoteric rejection
is not so,
and splay naked your soul to bear.
Quickening through the opaque mist
a form or phantom you sense...
From ethereal smoke he places his hand
succinctly on your back,
not to provoke but ease your pitiful state
and kiss you before he departs,
to pay the Reaper his toll.
Author notes
Prompt: Picture
Fear of rejection can be a self fulfilling prophecy. She thought she got stood up, but he finally showed up, dead. Better late than never, right?
A contest entry
- Quickie Picture Prompt Contest by Touchof1der.
475 points, ended September 27, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
Excellent
A wonderful take on the prompt. You created some very terrific images with your words. Congratulations on the honorable mention
-
Sublime. I like the analogy of roses and lamentation. The brief forlorn touch of love at the end is so expressive. Unique format accentuates the poem.
-
Grim logic forces understanding as the Gordian axe falls sharpened by wit. Fortean majesty rules kinetic powers with pelucid imagery. If only I had some clappers.
-
-
I suppose using big, obtuse, infrequently used words, is something you are doing to try to tell me that my poem is far exceeding in intelligent, cogent, unpredictably witty, out of the ordinary, smartly written..... etcetera etcetera blah blah blah....
Thanx for the comment , especially the kind parts. I REALLY like being granted kinetic powers. Maybe for my NEXT trick I can use subliminally interwoven reverse psychological degradating hypnotical brainfuck wording, huh?
-
-
This is such a truly amazing take on the prompt given. Extremely well articulated (as always), with such pained intensity. The art of rejection, force fed through apathy's shimmering gate; another soul to squeeze... dry.
These lines echoed throughout:
"Seven dead roses are the only ones
To hear you beckon,
And they wilt to encourage you to lament."
Excellent write
-
This was great alittle scary but great!
I didnt see the prompt but i am sure it was fitting to the poem.
Silver (nikki)
-
-
The prompt was simply the picture. Thanx and I am glad u liked it.
-
-
This is a great poem.
-
-
Thanx for the bunnies. Glad you liked it.
-
-
Thank you for taking the time enter and good luck to you!
-
Hidden secrets
Or our own personal torment.. Who knows? Dreams, haunted. Bozze filled nights. Sex on the run & never being honest with oneself... But oh the ride when I was 38
-
-
Ah yes , indeed. And being honest with oneself is that not the definition of a poet? I hope u liked this poem, and I hope there was some clarity in the meaning, from the words. I was trying to convey my twisted emotions of feeling rejected, or "stood up". The prompt was the picture, and I felt that "waiting" was what best fit it to my mind.
-
-
A unique approach to the prompt but one done with tight verbiage -precise and concise in the metaphorical meaning which is elegantly haunting of a beauty here. I like the way you worked with the wonders of spirit. This is one after you've read the meaning and the beauty lingers...
calling you to return..
Excellent!
Blessings~
~Joy
Congrats on the trophy
-
-
Thank you for the kind words. I wanted to convey the insanely delusional images we create in our minds when we are left all alone by someone who was supposed to be there for us. The inner turmoil and confusion from being "stood up", or similar situations.
-
-
Wow, this one I could stand to hear more about, me thinks he has more to say to moi, but perhaps I can revisit it a few more times, unless of course you care to add attachments as a personal favor, poet to poet hahaha just a thought
I give it all I can-three bunnies
-
-
Attachments? No problem. I appreciate the bunnies.
bye,
ted
-
-
I absolutely love this way you have written this poem. I think that it fits perfectly with the image. But I am bias on the image part because I have used the image before on one of my poems
The author comments kind of threw me for a loop. Left me ondering if this is one of those poems that appears to have one meaning to us but a totally different and more deeper, and personal meaning for the personal who has masterfully and beautifully penned it. Congrats on your honorable mention. I felt you definately deserved it!
~TXCowgirl -
-
It does have deep, personal meaning to me. I have allowed myself, on many occasions, to let my kindness be taken for weakness. Always being there for someone special when they are in need, but not getting that in return from them. Exposing my hurt, disappointment, unfounded jealousy, to them. Having this seen as weakness by others sometimes, when it is merely a product of seeming to feel rejected.
-
-
I must say that you took this to a place I would not have thought to go myself. This take on the prompt is unique and vastly different from what I had expected to receive in this contest. Powerful images are painted here. Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest and good luck!
♥ Touchof1der -
-
Appreciate it
My visual interpretation of the picture led me to believe that the woman was waiting for someone, who isn't going to show up. Her feelings of rejection, and the twisted delusions which spring forth when we feel "stood up".
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
