Prince of pain
Imprisoner of hope
Destroyer of faith
Thief of love
Breaker of hearts
Bringer of riddles
Asker of Questions
Images of you,
Speaking volumes
Linger here in my mind's eye,
To conjure poisoned dreams
Deep in the lonely night
Haunting the shadows
Of every moment I kept.
This visage before me
Demands answers which I cannot find
Words, unknown to any language
Feebly offer excuse
But provide no solace
For the delicate remains
Of what we shared
Sleep escapes me
Traded for one more glimpse
Of that Fractured Fairytale
My heart blindly painted
In shades of perfection
On canvas woven
To display my devotion
Insincere words scrawled across my memory
Slang forth from the lips
That once met mine, to promise forever.
So great was my belief in eternity
That I might discard my sensibilities
And dive into your open arms
Only to face the reality of your absence
I am overcome with sorrows, like thorns
Brutally pressed into delicate remnants of
Memories stitched together
From the fragments of the man
I can now only ache for.
Without you, I remain incomplete
The shell of one who seeks without finding.
I cannot recycle the hours lost
You may never repair the trust that you shattered
But hope is renewed in prayers of reunion
Petitions to gods that heal
The disservice cruel fate inflicts.
Our paths may cross again someday
And lead you back, where you belong.
To these loving arms
Made only to hold you
And protect you from harm
Return to the place in my heart
Where all is forgiven, and made new
Familiar feelings of closeness await you
And every sign reads “Welcome Home”
Author notes
They say every journey begins with a single step. The pathway HOME is waiting. I hope that one day you'll find it in your heart to take that first step... for in my heart, your room is just as you left it.
A contest entry
- For poets with 10 trophys or less- Pre-writes Allowed. by Mercury Rising.
450 points, ended October 4, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Did You Win a Trophy? by Nam.
1750 points, ended October 18, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I really like this stanza:
~~So great was my belief in eternity
That I might discard my sensibilities
And dive into your open armsOnly to face the reality of your absence~~
however, it seems to me that the word "eternity" doesnt work well because of the sheer power of the word "eternity".(Despite the line prior ~~...That once met mine, to promise forever...~~ even though it is referenced by "forever", and I DO understand your thrust as very clever in joining thoughts ;streamlining; marrying a "promise of forever" to a twisted belief in "eternity.") It is the realization that occurs in the present, the despair .... shattered hope ...in the moment of a thought: ---betrayal---
broken promises of forever ...
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congrats on the gold this deserved it. i especially likes the first stanza.
what a way to sum up a person eh?
beautifully done poet.
Abby -
From "Today's Poem" group
You are a very talented writer. This was an awesome poem,too good.And congrats onthe gold.
...Simply Me♥ -
Nicely penned
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Oh my, with such reality you hit home your arrows dart to my own heart, having experienced the same,in such exquisite, yet painful groanings of your emotions and words as you express the fullness of your heart.If I dared share like you it would be like a newspaper read by all, but we are left alone like a widow in grief to mend ourselves,when they like in death leave us, when pursued in their loving charm we are left to wonder, can anything be so painful! Remembering the pleasant things is the frail shreds I have left to hang on to,and let them like tattered curtains hang as a reminder of what was..It did exist,,and grievingly go on...I have made a poem,as I reply...I identify with you, M....this pain knows no specific gender....my wishes of good and healing go with you. This I will bookmark..I could not write it better!
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Congrats on the front page!! [Spotlight]
Such a lovely crafted piece.
very well done!
Also big clappies on the Gold trophy!
Becks
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My AP hubby has exceptional taste, this is beautiful and evocatively written yet leaves the way clear for a little hope. Love, C
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This is such a great write her, you capture so easily the pain and tragic loss of love, but in your author notes you leave it open to return. Wonderful emotion and imagery in this piece.... well done on your gold trophy on this one also
Karen -
How lovely
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beautiful.
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stunning...absolutely stunning
ah..my friend what a deep ocean you must command!
Absolutely stunning!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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WOW! I saw this on the homepage and decided to check it out, and im glad i did! This is expressed so perfectly, with amazing images woven through the verses. I could not write it better myself, im sort of jealous of this! Keep up the good work, and congrats on the trophie,you deserved it!
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hi,
this was by far one of the best poetry i read of late.
it moved me n i did feel bad for u, i hope that nothing bad does ever happen to u again n that the person u a addressing does come to ur waiting arms n fill the room in ur heart n that u find all the happiness of the world.
take care -
*blink* you have rendered me speechless.
[bookmark]
MORSMORDRE!
- The Dark Lady
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(sheds tear)...all i can say is... Fucking Beautiful!
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excellent!
powerful and moving!
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Poetry
Familiar feelings of closeness await you
And every sign reads “Welcome Home”
A truly heartbreaking write...if only fairy tales and poetry came true huh? Sorry for your loss, a gripping read.
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BEAUTIFUL!!
This is such a beautiful amazing poem! I love it!! So many powerful words used!!!!!, and used i so many ways, very creative and its almost as if you could feel every emotion, every feeling, every thought, as if it was happening to me, as if it was about me!! Very beautifully written as well, it almost seems as if it was flowing beautifully!! and very excellent!! I wouldnt change a thing on this it is too good! Very beautiful and very discriptive!! I love poetry with the raw feel and you know that this person really has writting this from their heart!!!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
Kit
x x x
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*sniffle*
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Sweet write about forgiveness! Love the last line! Hope it works out for you!
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wow a powerful piece, and very well written. well done and congrats on your gold! x
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wow
if my ex wrote poetry
i think he would write something like this
i feel like its him talking to me
these are so much his words
its disturbing
and sad
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I am glad that this touched you!! It really makes one feel good to know that the words they tacked together were sufficient to convey the message they had to release!
Thanks for reading!
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wow... this so sad and wonderful.
Congrats! -
All I can muster is: Wow
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i salute your beautifully written expression of your turmoil, lasting love and forgiveness and only hope it is offered to someone who deserves it....
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Superb in every way.The depth of feeling here captures each and every emotion. A truly excellent write...mal
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Wonderful! Wow! How you write words that seem to come from deep inside any one who is left longing for another! Well done! I love this!
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In my opinion this write is wonderful. I am not into the technical side of what is right or wrong just that it holds you from start to finish and makes you feel the words along with the writer. Very well done
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THREE THUMBS UP!!
I must say this is a very emotional piece. Truly, nothing but honest TRUE LOVE. I can relate to every feeling in this write. A very unconditional love that will never fade in time. "I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will love you tomarrow." Thank you so much for sharing this lovely piece of work.
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Gosh... you definitely deserve that trophy for this!! Very raw and revealing ... lost love and the hope of return - painful! I hope the return happens!!
I also agree with PoeticTrash that the authors note was great also!!
You write with maturity beyond your years!
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Thank you so much!!
I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement!! Thank you for taking the time to read me!
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Wow- this touches me in places that are still tender... wounds not so old as to be protected by scarring. How often do we believe so strongly- to want something so badly- we disregard our sensibilities...hang on to those promises that we know- we KNOW in our hearts- are untrue. We love in the face of lies, love despite ourselves- and when we are left with the pieces, we gather them up- little by little, sticky tape them back together and wager on Love once again.
This is so heartfelt- it oozes raw emotion and deep feeling...and was not an easy read, for personal reasons. Brilliant bit of work here, mate.
x
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"Linger here in my minds eye," - I believe that "minds" would be "mind's" since you're speaking of your mind, and not all minds.
The first two verses, especially the first verse, is a bit shaky compared to the rest of the poem. I feel that you could perhaps rewrite them to suit the fluidity of the rest, or not. The first verse seems like a check list, that's how it reads to me. I liked the rest after the first two verses, but, the opening, I felt, was a tad poor.
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Thank you for your input on this, I have corrected the grammer error that you pointed out, and I appreciate the rest of your suggestion/comment as well!! I hope to learn from it all, and become a better writer! Thanks again for reading me!
DangerousCereal
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AWE amazing write hun.
deeply thoughtful & sad....well versed.
and i must say i also loved the author's note you tagged on.....this definately was deserving of your gold trophy
Tasha
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This is really a tremendous poem replete with fresh and original phrases and imagery, and was a real delight to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
David
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Thank you
For your kind words of encouragement!! They mean so much!!
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Wow! I could feel your sadness in this poem. It is always hard to lose someone you love. This is a beautiful tribute! *hugs*
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such a deep poem dude...you rock! I liked this one alot. There wasn't really one specific line or stanza that was good...the whole thing was good. I liked it alot. Great write.
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Wow. That was some seriously deep stuff. I am completely amazed. Such a deep sense of longing. So beautiful.
Write on!
~*~SP~*~
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SO touching this is!
So beautiful are these lines:
"Return to the place in my heart
Where all is forgiven, and made new
Familiar feelings of closeness await you
And every sign reads “Welcome Home”
Wonderful write!
Lynda
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Heavy...
Watch out for yourself.
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Damn sweetie, this was absolutely brilliant! So filled with emotion, pained, and yet so full of longing which cannot subside. The years of love that were made, can never be erased. Your heart knows the truth within goodbye, and if there is a chance to resume - so be it. Take care of yourself, and what is right for YOU. You are a beautiful person, with so much to offer!!!
Awesome write my dearest!!! I wish I could applaud you a million times...
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oh wow this was an awsome write and full of imagery and emotion and a depth
i loved this and for a long write it was captivating and well written
well done
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