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Seen in shadow

Moonlight tricks the falls
into a scene romantic;
Lovers in the mist.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Purrsanthema
    February 4
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    I love your choice of the word tricks in the first line, and your courage to use the currently unfashionable inversion in the second. It's intensely visual and creates a lovely landscape. Very romantic! If I were to revise this poem, I might try to mess with the punctuation a bit.


  • Cynewulf
    August 2, 2008

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    This sums up the prompt superbly, good haiku/senryu/tofu or whatever these get called these days. I still call everything in this form a haiku, I think that makes me a philistine in the words of Matthew Arnold, but I'm a happy philistine!


  • Mephitic ID Synergy gold member
    October 12, 2007
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    In terms of haiku, I think "romantic" gives away too much of the reveal that's supposed to come in line 3. I don't like the picture at all. I think it's an obvious superimposition of two images which shames the beautiful work done by some artists, such as the image where the wolves are hidden in rocks and whatnot. But then, that's not your fault.


  • sullivanthepoet
    September 29, 2007
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    Ephemeral, succinct... well up to your usual standard guy...


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    September 28, 2007
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    Short, Sweet, Hot. Well done. Congratulations on the bronze. Well done. ~Pamela


  • Touchof1der silver member
    September 28, 2007
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    I think you pegged the image perfectly. I have always adored this image and have had it on my computer for quite some time. It's such a softly romantic vision as well as one that just envelopes you in serenity, just like your words here. Thank you taking the time to enter my contest and good luck!
    ♥ Touchof1der

1 - 6 of 6