He broke up with you,
Your friends have abandoned you,
you remember me.
Others gone away,
You talked (cried) to me today,
a friend, for a time
Hard times, your best friend
the one you always turn to,
when skies turn cloudy.
Then you find new guy,
your (real) friends forgive your lie,
sun rises again
You're back with them now,
Smiling so sweetly with them
I am lost to time
Good times come again,
and you've found your laugh anew,
I am but shadow.
I hate to lose friends,
Hope but dread the good bad day-
you return to joy
Author notes
Not all that organized, but this was what came out put into haiku. Was just getting at that feeling you get when somebody seems to only talk to you when they are down. I can't really help myself, if a friend is hurting I talk to them hoping for whatever, even if I know that when they are back on top of the world they'll be talking to somebody they like more that just wasn't accepting them. And so it is perverse, I have to help people, but all the time there is this voice shouting that if I help them I lose them. I'm not making any sense, but what I mean is that I have mixed feelings when somebody looks like they are recovering from their sadness.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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There are those in this world who give and those who take just make sure you don't get taken too much
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actually you make all the sense in the world. Nicely written.
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very well done
did not understand the "lie". where did that come from?
did like your sentiments overall though. well described too. haikus always flabbergast me anyway. such a difficult form, which you used very well.
. Rewarded 4
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This is amazing... the sentiments in your poem are raw and honest, and the way that you have formatted them into haiku is just brilliant... I always find it such a pity that such wonderful poetry can only come from such pain... I know what it feels like to be treated the way you describe - but never fear, there will (hopefully) always be at least one person that counts you as the most important friend beautiful poetry.
Keep writing
Polly
P.S. If you like to write haiku poetry then you might like to try this form: http://allpoetry.com/column/2336528 -
Your poem makes a lot sense and is so true. The truest friend is always there when we need them. Sometimes people have their head set in a different direction to what they think they need but if they really consider what in the heart they will realize who their real friends are.
. Rewarded 6
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We all have pain and we all learn and grow from that pain. you displayed sadness and hope in this poem. I love it. A true friend will never abandon you.
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I think we all have that something inside when a friend needs a shoulder, ours is there to lean or cry on. One thing to remember is, you never really lose the good ones. They will hold you in their heart always for being there. True friends are hard to come by and when we make them we hold on for a lifetime. You show much compassion in your soul with the words you wrote here. Thank you for sharing with me and keep writing poet.
seamaiden ♥
. Rewarded 8
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for some reason this reminds me of a scripture that says God hears our unuttered ramblings...you say it doesn't make sense but it does ... filled with feelings and well done.
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This is a great write. You have spoked the words of truth here. So many times there are people that only use you to make themselves feel better, and once they are, they go back to the shallow friends that left them in the first place. Well done, this is a great write.
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This is a beautiful write, I can only hope that a poem with so much meaning was actually about or for someone, keep up the good work, I hope to be reading more of your writes very soon,
All the best,
~Stephi-Dawne~
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you are narrating the truth though it is a bitter one..but this is what the life is..this is heartfelt write..well done..and thanks for sharing such a wonderful poem...
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Hmmm, I believe I can understand what you are saying. It's hard sometimes, well most times, when we are put in this predicament 'n people only come to us when when they really need someone but darling that's the way of the world. It's like being a stand-by friend if you knw what I mean 'n you when things are well because they don't bother u but then when things are down again here they come running 'n u help them.
If that's what you mean then I must say I know that feeling all to well. -
9.8
is unorganized...but i like ti. i relate well -
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I am with you on this and can relate to your words. Each of has someone who only talks to us when things are down. Be it family or friend. But, as you say, what do you do, You are making sense. I guess it is something in us that make sus do it. It may hurt but we will help. We may say "never again" but if he or she calls again we listen and talk and advise. All it really cost is our time and we all have lots of time. I like you have helped and on occasion one or two have returned and said thanks your talk has helped. We really don't expect it, but I think secertely we like to be thanked. Are we together on this
. Rewarded 8
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Others gone away,
You talked (cried) to me today,
a friend, for a time
Hard times, your best friend
the one you always turn to,
when skies turn cloudy.
Then you find new guy,
your (real) friends forgive your lie,
sun rises again
I love these verses they mean so much this is a beautiful piece of poetry. You have a few punctuation and spelling errors but overall this is an amazing poem. Keep up the fantastic work!
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Nice job all round with this poem and I really enjoyed it alot. keep up the good work
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I esp. like the last 2 lines, "Hope but dread the good bad day-/ you return to joy"
Thank you for sharing this with us.
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