Discouragement bites
with the rising tides lack
of a romantic reality;
struggling to remain guarded
against the burns
of Mercury.
Cinderella dreams lie cradled
in the abyss
of me,
a perfect imperfection,
where flawless fantasies grow stagnate,
falling between the cracks
of love and hate;
and my heart submerges,
trapped
within an eclipse
of hopeful and hopeless.
Author notes
prompt: picture
In a list
A contest entry
- Quickie Picture Prompt Contest by Touchof1der.
475 points, ended September 27, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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a beautiful love poem written in good taste.
Judy
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Ummm... I commented on this already!
Mom
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Another Gold winner! And so very worthy! Like mother, like daughter...let that light shine sweetheart!
"where flawless fantasies grow stagnate,
falling between the cracks
of love and hate;"
Oh...do I ever know these lines love. My oho my is this poem ever the shit! Congratulations!
Mom
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You have a beautiful way with words. You don't use all that many of them, but still you're able to put so much emotions and imagery to them that it's almost scary at times. I envy people who are able to do that, and write free verse poetry that I love. Now many can do that either. Beautiful work with this one; I love this piece!
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I just adore the way you write, Bel. I love the contradiction of 'perfect imperfections' and the alliterations (If I remember correctly. I got no memory, heh). Beautifully done.
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Oh baby this is melancholy but beautifully written as I knew it would be. You are such a wealth of talent. You surely deserved this win as all that I've read that have received the merit they deserve. I love the feel of this work and know these emotions all too well.
Ah...was this a quickie or a PIF? LOL
Love you beautiful woman! Congratulations on snatching that cup away from Ken. LOL
Mom : f
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great job
swept that shiny cup right out from under me I see 
congratulations and well deserved. I too really lov your closing lines.
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Well I know I had my work cut out for me after reading your entry so I had to work to really bring this one up
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Congratulations
Beautifully sad and filled with such loneliness. That last stanza shows such a personal picture of this quiet place, always with the fantasy playing in queue. Well done. ~Pamela
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God this is terribly sad.
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I believe it was Mother Teresa who said, "The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved", which is initially what I saw in the picture prompt. Reading your closing lines...
trapped
within an eclipse
of hopeful and hopeless
remind me all over again of that initial "pang" that glimpses of this filled me within the darkened corners of my heart... you know, the ones where we hide the pain that other inflict upon it, be it on purpose or not. Beautifully done and well thought out. Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest and good luck!
♥ Touchof1der
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