Oh to dance like daisies do
on wind that’s thrash or thrill
to sway in sigh and sough
yet grounded firmly in god’s will
to wear broad hat of petal’d brim
and swing my arms out in the rain
to smile at blue and breezy whim
to reach, to draw, without restrain
oh let me be a garden’s frill
unhanded by another’s gain
In a list
A contest entry
- daisy by DancingRed.
300 points, ended October 9, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
TS Personification Assigment
I loved the way you personified the way the daises danced. It makes you think of a field of daisies swaying to a gentle beat. Also of the daises 'sighing', such beautiful imagery as if it's been blessed or seranaded, a delicate sigh escapes its lips. For the petaled brim with the hat. As we know petals don't wear hats - but the imagery shows us that it makes sense in imagery. Great write, short but sweet. -
-
Oh yes...this speaks to spring...for which I long....now that autumn has flung its best beauty.
-
-
Superb write, very clever!
Lovely write, well done, the contrast between daisy and woman so prominent from title to end assuming 'Daisy' could be the womans name, that she likes to 'dance' and 'sway', you can picture her with the imagery of her 'broad hat', 'smile' and the swining arms drawing you closer, welcoming.The 'frill' makes me think of her in dress or skirt untouched/'unhanded' in all her glory. This opposed to telling the story of a daisy swaying in the grasses, as first seems is clever personification leaving the reader actually making their mind up as to which the writer is actually talking of. Superb write!Kindest thoughts and wishes. Anna-Marie.
-
-
ty pen friend. I see women in many tings, from willow bending to river to sky clouds wering peachy cheeks.
-
-
Excellent
Oh my you did such an incredible job with this one. Really is amazing. Best of luck in the contest.
-
-
ty penman...I do not usually write rhyme so this was a very different one for me. pen friend.
-
-
TS Personification Assignment
Hm I love the way this flows,
"blue and breezy whim" that just has such great alliteration and the personification (yes that is what my main comment will be on) just makes me feel so laid back, and just relaxing, being able to do what you want with the sun just shining on your face.. (not that daisies have faces =])
another peice of personification that was, well, great, was "on wind that’s thrash or thrill"
just makes the wind sound so violent but so much fun, reminds me of sailing where the worse the wind, the better the sailing.
and also "to sway in sigh and sough", when I sigh I'm usually really calm, and not being agitated at all, just discarding life, and that verse reminds me of the cool collected behavoir I feel.
So thats it, you're writing is amazing, =]
best of luck in the contest.
-
-
Yes, es...a women in winds of real Life....such is it that a woman should remember to dance when she can.
-
-
I enjoyed your piece. The personification with dancing (sway, sigh, sough--soft rustling, like fancy dress skirts), and the hat and swinging arms were delightful. Very nice alliteration. I especially liked "firmly grounded in god's will" and "unhanded by another's gain"
-
-
You indeed caught the ssss sound of breezes.... well done.
-
-
Wonderful personification, and followed through with such creativity and skill!!! Terrific rhyme. I nice choice for a poem about seeking whimsy and self expression without restraint! Not to mention how this thing is loaded with alliteration. Beautiful stuff!
-
-
ty, dear heart... I do not know why we bend down so early when there is still breeze to dance.
-
-
Ah, to be a daisy!
I haven't read rhyme as good as this in an awfully long time. Spectacular use of alliteration, personification, metaphor etc.
Thanks for entering this fine poem.
DancingRed.
-
-
ty, my friend... it is difficult for me to write rhyming pieces... but I really got into the personification here.
-
-
Rhythmic and thematic uses of alliteration abound! I was transported to an old Disney movie I remembered {it had smiling & dancing Daisies}
"Oh to dance like daisies do
on wind that’s thrash or thrill
to sway in sigh and sough
yet grounded firmly in god’s will"
In your own way... YOU DO & YOU ARE!
Keep Dancin', M'Lady! ~ Nicky♥
-
-
Oh yes, was it Fantasia???? One of my favorites....
-
-
YES!!! FANTASIA, One of my FAVs Too!
-
-
-
nice Carol, nice.
-
wow, interesting to see a rhyming poem from you. Well done and enjoyable.
-
-
yes, once in a while I get the urge or a theme begs for it. Ty ea.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
