pumpkin
grins feebly
at passersby
a wizened old man
Author notes
Option 2C
Also considered this version:
"weeks after Halloween"
wizened old man
has not removed his pumpkin
I actually like that, but I think people would be uncomfortable giving a prize to such a short poem instead of longer ones.
Hopefully this is noticeable, but the last line could apply to the pumpkin or the passersby.
A contest entry
- 15 and Under ONLY ~ Win A Gold Membership in our Halloween Contest! by Amunet Wolfbane.
6000 points, ended November 14, 2007, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
It is an art to be able to convey so much in so few lines and you've mastered it quite well here. Short of long is not the issue. Poetry is and this is just that and a great one too! Outstanding!
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I have tried writing a few haikus in the past but I never manage to capture then the right way
I guess I just don't have the talent for them...oh well I can see you most certainly d
Thank you for entering and best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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ooh, haiku-like
I like haiku 
and you have done a very good job with this actually. Could see the lines very vividly, and I love tha aha-moment you've captured 
Very well done! Best of luck in the contest
Leander -
lol how cute
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