Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

What is love, if not music?

What is love,

If not the melody,

Of our very existence,

Underlined by harmony?

 

The rhythm of my beating soul,

Pounds percussion on my heart,

Only waiting for the measure,

When the symphony will start.

 

And in that sweet sensation,

Of a tantalizing band,

I know I cannot sing alone,

And ask you for your hand.

 

The drums and cymbals clash,

As I wait expectantly,

Will we intertwine in duet,

Or have I gone too far off key?

 

So as my line crescendos,

Slowing down to one long note,

I try to read your mellifluous face,

And the feelings it emotes.

 

Yet as my hope begins to fade,

Like the pitch I'm holding out,

I hear your voice picking up the verse,

And our music waltzes about.

Author notes

So I came from a guitar lesson and decided to work music into a love poem.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • grannyeri gold member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    You really have describe a symphony of love in these lines - very musical and a good rhythm and rhyme, flow as well. Question answers itself in the poem.

    . Rewarded 4


  • caseylynn
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is lovely. everything flows together quite beautifully.

    "The drums and cymbals clash,
    As I wait expectantly,
    Will we intertwine in duet,
    Or have I gone too far off key?"

    ^my favorite part. you've got a beautiful way with words.

  • Grey Mouser
    October 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful mixture, the song that twines about a couple showing their love. With peaks and valleys and plenty of harmony in between. Very nicely done, the rhymr and rhythm worked very well. Thanks for entering into the contest.
    Be well and be blessed,
    Mouser

  • mysticstorm gold member
    October 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done! Music is love in so many ways and you did a wonderful job capturing that feeling and making it all seem so light and free. Lovely flow and metaphor.
    Wonderful feeling through out.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Love
  • mayahee13
    September 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    amazing!

    codename, apeo...yes, i joined. haha...well this is amazing and ten times better than anything i could ever write. i think you should teach me...

    . Rewarded 4


  • PartyAnarchy
    September 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm,
    I like most of it,
    And the last line screws with the ryhthm.
    and rhyme.
    gawd, drew, ryhming...
    Nah, jk.
    It's a good concept, and a good lyrical, jus' not mein typisch mode.
    (my typical style.) sorry, just came from german.

  • deadpixie020
    September 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I love this!!

    This is amazing! You combined two of my favorite things - music and love - into one fantastic piece. I love the rhythm and rhyme, it connects exactly to the theme and emotion of the poem. Lovely. And the ending made me happy. I mean it. I read it and I just smiled because it's always so wonderful when a poem can do that to you. Great job!!

    Good luck in the contest!
1 - 7 of 7