She's wishing on dead stars
The little girl in her died years ago
And she visits her grave often
Because her grave is her new home
She is misunderstood
And overlooked
Her internal candle has been blown out
And it hurt to much to utter a single sound
She dreams of her head in an oven
Or dangling from a noose
And the psychiatrist says, "this is a break through"
At this point, he too is looking for a suicide excuse
Her innocence was lost behind locked doors
A tragedy to keep in her inetrnal prison bars
The nightmare's plague
Insanity can't offer an escape
She breathes in a shallow grave
Her life was just a mistake
And like the dead stars, she fades
Look at the mess society made
Look at what you did create
Author notes
x.x
[checkered skies of black&&white]
my screen name is dead star--x
i chose the write about your screen name option
A contest entry
- [checkered skies of black&&white].... by Aquamarine..
400 points, ended October 2, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
xoxoxoxoxo
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Good luck in the contest, it flows well and creates a sad imagery, sad but beautiful at the same time, once again good luck.
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very well written
it flowed very nicely. Good read, and I'm sure many can relate unfortunately. Society is indeed in a mess. -
the last stanza is inspired, i hope this isn't a true happening.
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This was awesome truly tragic but it really hits home you do not beat around the bush or sugar coat your words I love that in a read amazing piece of work
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Most who read see words in rhymes
but what i read is a screaming hymns
what you were stood still with time
what is now but a fake shadow that mime
In darkness you breath and in dreams you dive
and whisper your name to feel alive..
why dont you scream,why dont you shout
why dont you let all the anger out
its only time and soon you'll fade
so die with pride,and not with hate. -
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ive never been able to unleash my anger
it goes back to my childhood cant release it outward
so i unleash it inward
causing inner struggles and self-hate
if i could stop it i would but i do not know how
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Great choice to write about. A very deep look at ones self. You have been through a lot and are still standing, thoughts come and go...often more then we like but you can make it you are a survivor.
Strong woman with a lions heart.
Best to you!
Love
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hi i thought this was really good and i enjoyed reading this and the comparrison you made in it well done hun
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i love it. it's..... astonishing. and i like the comparison between dead stars and you/this person.
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Oh my gosh, that is so deep. I can totally relate to this poem. I loved it. I'm here if you ever need to talk, keep up the out standing work!
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thanx im glad you liked it--ive been feeling like i have major writers block and this is the first thing that hasnt been forced out of my creativity
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Your words are so full of emotion. The descriptions in here, like dead stars, are amazing and just so individual and origonal. very powerful piece.
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i woke up this morning with a thought in my head.
& im not gonna bore you with said thought
but it realates to this all to much.
♥
xx
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do elaborate-you have my attention
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do elaborate-you have my attention
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"She's wishing on dead stars
The little girl in her died years ago
And she visits her grave often
Because her grave is her new home"
i woke up thinking. hey. i havnt really lived. im merley exsisting. so whats the difference between what im doing, waking up each day just to be dead. when i could be 6 feet under experienceing the real thing. at least i wont have to wake up.
xxxx
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OHHHHHOOOOOOOOooooo!!
Your poem has come through the morning breeze and sits here in my room with me... and I am pasting lots of hugs and kisses to it
and I am sending it back to you with the sure knowledge that I love you. 
You are precious to me.
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thanx mummy♥
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