Do you ever get the feeling that nobody cares
the feeling that, it seems, nobody shares
Do you ever get the feeling that if you wait another day
You'll just feel more pain, it'll never go away
The looks that you get, the rumors spread around
you can hear every word, every little sound
Sometimes you just want to leave
leave the world, no longer to decieve
Those friends you thought you had
they don't want you, they want the bad
The bad girl I tried to be
I'm not that girl, cant you see?
I want to take some pills,
the ones that they say, watch out, it kills
Well I wish it would, dont you see
I need to die and get out of this misery
My life is hell and they don't believe
all I tell them, they just can't concieve
You wouldn't do that, no you CAN'T be that
I don't want to hear what they think but the world's at bat
They hit me past the walls surrounding,
nobody to catch me and all I can feel is my heart pounding
Let it stop,
let
it
drop...
Let the feeling all go away
and not come back another day
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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a future American Poet
i think we all feel like that at times... i've been feeling like that lately were it doesn't matter what i say, it's everbody elses call. People hurt you and there's nothing you can do about it but write. I think this poem was very well written... it went together beautifully and had a lot of emotion in it. -
I love the emotion you convey within this poem you are honest and true to your feeligns don't let anyone tell you different. I will not push you with advice about your emotions they are yours to feel and this place is your safety haven to express them. You have the p[otential to be a great writer just make sure you express all of your emotions not just the depressed or lonely ones. And girl keep truckin!! You have alot to live for so put those pills down and take whats yours by rights!! Amazing poetry though...ignore those who say the ryhming ruins it coz they LIE. nicely done girl <3
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Noooooooonononononono. Stop this. This rhyming thing you insist on doing has ruined your otherwise perfectly good poem.
Try this: Go through the poem and pick out your absolute favorite bits. Maybe they are lines you are especially fond or proud of, or maybe they are images or metaphors that are very important to you emotionally. Make a new poem with just those and don't bother to rhyme at all. Sparingly add in some transitions from one thought to the next if you need to in order to maintain a logical flow of thought from the beginning to the end.
You will express your feelings better if you do not junk them up with lots of words you use only because they rhyme.
If you absolutely insist on rhyming or like this as it is, you can split every line into two except for the last two verses and it will be easier to read.
But ultimately, how you feel is important to you. Stay true to that in your poetry. When you are thinking about your pain, I have doubts that you really imagine the entire world chasing you with baseball bats. What do you see behind your closed eyes? Show us with words that are as unique as you are yourself. -
Kitt this is a great poem but i dnt like how u wrote about dying u need to live because ppl want you to n should want to too. but anyways great poem n i loved ur rhyming
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kitty!! come on!
i like the rhyme and the poem but, u don't reeeally feel this way do u? i mean, i have but really, it doesnt solve anything.. (i havent tried to kill myself tho) so continue the writing, but do not actually live them and kity... apparently im no one cuz i care
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well look around you're not the only one however great write nothing else to say except dont give a shit about the world and beleive me their's out their some friend that will be just good to you and only care about you.
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i feel bad sorry u feel that way.
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sounds like me...lov the poem
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