Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

the offering.




earth's serrated edge
intercepts
clusters of white wishes;


ocean's
elastic waves
withdrawn by
flightless dancers,
with blood wings
hidden in their
pockets --

wide-eyed seraphs
drifting
between here
& neverland's
sea.





Author notes

inspired by sunsets and saltwater.

comments welcome.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • x--nocturnia--x
    September 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    (LISA) is aatanicv faery's friend thanks Lisa

  • x--nocturnia--x
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    im sorry my name is lisa but i was wondering what seraphs are sorry i will be able to understand the poem better when i know what that word means


  • x--nocturnia--x
    September 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I don't understand your poems but i like them; my mate thinks it could do with some work..


  • DancingRed
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hello. I presume that you picked either spring or summer?

    The beginning has many s and sh sounds, which makes it a little hard to say quickly, but it mimics the ocean splendidly.

    I love that powerful image of blood in pockets.


    DancingRed.

1 - 5 of 5