With this simple heart of mine,
I can make the clouds go home.
With this simple heart of mine,
I can paint the sun at dawn.
With this simple heart of mine,
this world is a wonder of my own.
I thank God for this gift,
that I am proud to be my own.
A contest entry
- Inspire me; Anything Goes by wolfcub.
450 points, ended April 16, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critics and critiques are welcome :)
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This is so beautifully simple! There's not a lot more to be said!
Thankyou for entering and good luck
Katie -
How True It Is
"With this simple heart of mine,
this world is a wonder of my own."
It is through the eyes we notice, but through our hearts that we are given our sight. For that allows others to notice how we view the world and people around us. Our actions, feelings and ways betrays us, always.
Niaish for sharing with us
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Truth
"proud to be my own" Well said. Thank you for sharing your heart. Be well and best wishes in life.
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I just love how your words make me feel...Proud to be my own! simple of mind and heart! niaish so much for sharing with me
and 
otc
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I can sence a note of sadness in this so beautiful write
well done
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excellent write i like this alot Niaish for sharing Dear Poet
RedwingSpirit
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Simply elegant and full of beauty!! I so enjoyed reading. Niaish for sharing my friend
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yes and this poem is a treasure also
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Very nice, I like the repeat line and with this simple hear of mine, I think thi is a wonderul poem.
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Simple, beautiful, it needs nothing more. Very well done my friend and niaish for sharing with us here.
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The Simple things in Life are all we need most of the tiime.... Well Done!
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Well done, you created a great poem, blessings John
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Lovely
There is good in the world today
Don't let bad get in the way
Look at this write
What a delight
I am GREAT -- what more can I say
Tiki Cat (World's Best Poet)
Buy TIKI'S GOURMET CAT FOOD
"Too Good For Humans"
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we can make the world our oyster, a rather smelly shellfish, but often in the layers of flesh one finds a lovely pearl...great write...Artis
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Wonderful! Simple yet beautifully penned... thanxx so much for the comment and for adding me. Thanks much for sharing.
~Candy
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I simple love it!...That is no measure of a simple heart but a heart filled with self worth...Thank you so much for sharing with me
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An interesting piece, I especially like the openness of the line "I can make the clouds go home". It leaves the reader to interpret what it means to a large degree, which is a good thing in poetry.
On a critical note, the first part of the piece flows together excellently, but the last two lines of the poem depart from the rest and cause the ending to be somewhat anti-climatic in its sound. In my opinion, the end of any poem is one of the most essential parts, and it is key to end on a strong note, unless you have purposed otherwise. I can think of a few minor changes that could improve the ending (at least in my opinion) and will gladly share them if you would like.
A well written piece, and one that I can completely agree with the message of. Keep on penning!
-Thefallout
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Simply stated, easy to read and understand what you say in these lines. Each one of us can do this if we desire to, and we have God to thank for it.
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