Entrapments diabolical
Glaze fluttering restless eyes
Focused on temptation's true form
Sweet drops of self destruction
Flowing from her veins to mine
Heart of synchronized deception
As I pick at plastic sores
Struggling with broken whispers
On ground unevenly discovered
By visions lacking objectiveness
Stuck to candle wax uneasily
Emotion which can never retract
Peels all cautious layers existing
Discarded ribbons melt into the past
Invitations of nefarious types
Born of concubine pedigree
Flash blue in the spotted mind
Rewriting the opus of my life
Distance brought closer
As dreams flow disproportional
To reality's serrated knife
For my will must surround her
She must be mine
A contest entry
- AllPoetry Extravaganza--3 Month Gold and Silver Membership by Violet Moodswing.
1500 points, ended November 28, 2007, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Thanks for your entry into the temptation contest.
Lisa -
Very well written. The words flow together smoothly to tell a tale of love; or, is it lust?
Very good piece indeed. The ending drew the closing curtain to this poem. Keep up the good work, and good luck in your contest
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I think this was well written. The last stanza was perfect to end this piece. The imagery was chosen well and executed well. Good luck in the contest.
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I thought this was just incredible! Honestly, so very well spoken; this piece has a wonderful intensity about it. Rich language allowing depth to absorb within each line. Unique and wonderfully refreshing.. A new favorite perhaps!
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WOW Oh my this was some seriously intense temptation.
I 
this
Well done sweetie and good luck in the contest
delila -
WOW Oh my this was some seriously intense temptation. I this
Well done sweetie and good luck in the contest
delila
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The last line..."She must be mine". Such a deep llonging and desire there. such a want. We all know that feeling at some point in our lives, unless we are less than human, but you my friend shall actually hhave your heart's desire. The words you chose for this both cut, and heal. Bravo, and may the opus of your life smile on this.
Blessed be,
Billie Jean
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this was a wonderful write and i really loved how you did this
so beautifully expressed and done
well done and best of luck
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Some "come on" !! I think this might come into the "Ooh, you are awful...but I like it" category, or, perhaps I miss the point(s)? A transulcent way with words generating ideas and feelings.
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so um, yeah.. that was.. increadible.. i really dont know what to say except, wow. good luck in the contest!!!
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i dont' think you will have any problem placing in this contest. you have done a most excellent job. congratulations on that. viyanna rosemarie
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