heart beats
a rush of blood
a river's torrent
a cascade of moments recalled
in a darkened room
with lights extinguished
I reached out to touch you
but you were gone --
and all that remains
is a memory that lingers
and the sad, sad beating of my heart...
A contest entry
- Dead Stars by Virgoan.
500 points, ended October 12, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I like this one. The sense of melancholy plays vibrantly here. Very relatable and for sure was inspired by my short poem. The first half is stronger than the second but you were able to lit the second half well. The conclusion makes ones heart swell.
Well done fellow poet
Thanks for sharing and best of luck.
VIRGOAN
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This read like a sad sigh that was never able to release it's breath. simple sad and true to life.
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this reminds me of what a friend of mine is going through right now, i think alot of people in many situations can relate to this. nicely done.
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