Dematerializing this mortal obstacle;
Shifting into the aether of celestial theology.
The alchemistic equation’s of my body, break into
Cosmic transmutation. Zero-dimensional point particles flow through me.
My senses are light speed; defying time and dimensions;
Fusing with the aftermath of the primordial condition.
Quantum chromo dynamics laced with knowledge.
With the X-factor being ........
The secrets of light, gravity, energy and origin lay before me.
Folding time, and space, around me; I find the synergy of the Quantum Sanctuary.
I do not forfeit my existence,
Rather, I become existence itself.
A contest entry
- Quantum Thoughts by islekine.
600 points, ended October 8, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for Favourites by XxGoldenxXDawnxX.
425 points, ended October 24, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be ready for real CRITICISM........ by algoressister.
500 points, ended November 11, 2007, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mysteries of the Universe by enitsirhC.
555 points, ended July 2, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
-
This is really good!
The diction is very intelligent, which is really good in my book
The 2nd and 3rd stanzas are my favorites.
Very well done!
Good luck in my contest
-
I liked this peice very much. I was surprised by you ability to flow with a Steven Hawking diet tribe easy to grasp, while pulling the reader through black holes without them knowing it. Audrey Evans
-
A lovely technical piece very well woven with intricate thoughts. a very fine piece indeed!
-
I liked this 1da. Had to read it twice though to get the gravity (Quantum psysics is not my forte).It was really interesting once I got into it.Talent is lovely to witness
-
lol. Nice quasi quantum references.
Stanza 1, line 2; word 4: aether--
I think that this stanza would have benefited from having the structure more like below:
"Dematerializing this mortal obstacle;
into the aether of my body--
to break into immortality." You know, something along those lines. It would sort of fit better with the current ideas and ideals of QT. And, that last word, "immortality", would make a clever cynical comment on the nature of some of the quantum ideas that people fall into
aether is a great word in this context,
-
Very creative, like the style
great work and well done.
-
You do not have a name for this... and I can't judge your poem without a name... please put your AP name into the author's notes and then tell me so that I can re-judge your poem... thank you for your understanding....
~luminescence -
-
It's been editied.
-
-
content 7.2
vocabulary 11
accuracy 7.7
creativity 7.3
theme 7.4
originality 7.1
totals-47.7
-
LOL!!! o yeah. that's that shit right there. I'm reading a lot on quantum physics and this piece circled the nebula and transmitted this thought of colliding atoms into reality. Man this was str8~ MYkeee
-
-
Yeah I been reading some stuff on Quantam physics. It's intresting topic. to me it's like understanding how Jehovah God thinks in area of science and methematics.
-
-
Great work here, poet.
No reality exists apart from the deathless Self.
Be well.
-
-
"No reality exists apart from the deathless Self."
That is a pretty sweeping statement to make. Care to give some reasoning to it, or was it just used to make you sound clever? -
-
It's just a statement of belief that we are all one. I like to read about Hinduism.
lol I don't even remember saying this, it was months ago.
-
-
-
I thought this was a qonderful piece. You've actually created a theme...and stuck to it. A great poem, and very creative. Thank you for entering.
Steven -
I give you props for creativity... no doubt about that. Thank you for sharing your wheels turning with us.
-
Outstanding!
This is a truly inspiring write, I cannot pick a fault or a favorite line. Every line I thought was great was out done by the next, it held my complete attention, I read it more than once and I was disappointed when it ended. This is the only I have read that has left me wanting more. Fabtastic! Good luck in the contest! -
Keep up the good work poet! I so enjoyed this work, my favourite lines were:
My senses are light speed, defying time and dimensions,
Fusing with the aftermath of the primordial condition
Quantum chromo dynamics laced with knowledge.
With the X-factor being –
The secrets of light, gravity, energy and origin lay before me.
Thanks for entereing.
-
A nice poem that you have written here.
-
Thank you for your entry into my contest. This is a different take on this picture and not one that I was expecting to receive in this contest. Bur I must admit that your writing captured my attention and kept it all the way through the poem. his is a the mark of a good poet. You have done well with this one.
-
Thank you so much for your
wonderful entry!
Write on.
*PEACE*
-
For some reason or another as I read the words here, I get this whole feel of the theme from Twilight Zone or some other science fiction show playing in the background. Perhaps it is just me. LOL Good luck in the contest here.
-
A breathtaking...
soliloquy of your own existence. The verbage is based scientific fact and echos of the musings of Jeanne Claude Sartre's "Being and Nothingness" and all in all this is one powerful piece... Ithica
-
this is good
very detailed write, I like the delivery and concept very nice! -
Interesting poem. I like the idea of giving yourself to the universe and becoming that which you sought. I liked the imagery most of all, I believe. A good poem.
-
I really loved the 2nd stanza!! It was bursting with awsomeness!! I love this poem with all my heart!!! Keep up the great work!!!
-
this was out standing
great poem
-
It's so nice to read something that uses higher-level vocabulary for a change, especially when I have to look up a word. And the words you use actually enhance the flow of the poem rather than hinder it.
P.S. The last two lines were my favorite
-
Very well written, I liked this and I hope you win a spot in the contest.
-
this is quite an effort just the vocabulary is something unusual, and then these exotic words and ideas seem to fit together, well done; some repetition of light energy etc, but overall very well done, outstanding creativity and imagination...PK
-
I now want to enter this contest, as well, but I cannot say I could effectively write anything to comparison. This is damn good. I mean, I really liked this. You suprise me as much as I have you, my friend.
It's hard to find anybody that can actually suprise me nowdays.
Well done.
Keep writing.
-
godhood.
sounds like you've achieved enlightenment. -
Oh yes yes yes!
Write on!
*PEACE* -
-
thank you! i'm glad u enjoyed it
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 34 of 34
