I was alone until the day
I first beheld the sun,
And felt that gentle, warming ray
Of first love just begun.
She was the nearly perfect light
That I, so long, had sought.
But stum'bling through eternal night
Had brought me less than naught.
Her glow amazes all who see,
And all who pass her way
But yet she's chosen only me,
A foundling, cast astray.
My heart, o'erblown with passion's fire
Is held here in my hand.
I offer it with one desire,
A tiny, golden band.
You touch my arm, you kiss my cheek,
My brain's a melted mess.
Perfection's muse is what I seek,
Content with nothing less.
Your lips that touch my very own
Are soft and taste of fruit.
And I'm surrounded by soft tones
Of harp, and lyre, and lute.
Protected from without and in,
Enraptured by your soul,
I'm going where I've never been,
Entranced, I've lost control.
When "I love you" is said and meant,
And hearts are intertwined,
Most things become irrelevant,
And life is now aligned.
I bask in sunshine's lasting heat,
I've learned what's good and true.
It makes e'en lemons pure and sweet,
That's what true love can do.
Author notes
Always fun to write about love. All comments welcome.
And, my most sincere thanks to Nicole who found the background photo for me.
In a list
A contest entry
- Gimme Some Lovin' by Touchof1der.
688 points, ended September 29, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Herein love is precisely accurate in its expression
Thank you for the joy of reading your work
Your writing is aligned with poetic perfection
When it comes to this you are the CEO - I am a clerk
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When "I love you" is said and meant,
And hearts are intertwined,
Most things become irrelevant,
And life is now aligned.
This is only the third of your poems I’ve read but I must say I am so impressed. I hope what you wrote about here happened to you.
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I envy you
You write about a longlasting love with such tenderness and precision. You really are very lucky. I couldn't do it because I have not had that experience. My parents were married a long time and it is only now that I begin to realize that maybe they did love each other. Thank you, Kirbysman.
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Wow. I really loved how this told the story of romance...of love. The emotions in the piece were so true...and the rhyme was beyond superb. There's even a verse that seems like philosophy...the second before last. So true. So beautiful. So sweet. Of course you won gold!!!
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beautiful and sweet
This is tender and warm. I love the theme of light that radiates throughout the piece. Congratulations on the gold. Well deserved. But I suppose you have an even better than gold trophy in the person to whom this is written. -
One of the better
As i filter through the compendium of poetry, I am always glad to stumble upon the view that are palatable to my arbitrary mind. Great job, metre, inflections, and structure. Keep going; I have my eye on you. -
lovely, very romantic
I do believe you've captured the true essence of romantic love. Love the background...
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Between the words and the background and the whole aura created here, I find myself reluctant to leave the page. This is simply exquisite. There is no other way to describe it. Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest and good luck!
♥ Touchof1der -
Now. I hope you play an instrument.
Guitar would work with this. I respond often with words that verse as this, but I must admit that guitar is best
Also, I sense the source of older folk music, such as Neil Young, and some of the '60's & '70's
..by descriptive:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hootenanny_%28US_TV_Show%29
If for poetry only, watch your use of
punctuation. It's not as needed in free verse
poetry.
Fun....fun...till Daddy takes the T-bird away.
F
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Free Verse is against Paul's religion.
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Wow dad, truly beautiful words. I wish I could feel what you are writing about here. Every poem I read of yours, makes me feel so warm inside. You are the most amazing poet I have ever known...and I am so glad I have known you. I love you soooo much!!!
Sincerely,
Your daughter
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This is beautifully written from a heart that knows of love. I love the last eight lines the best..it tells the true meaning of love with feelings that are true. Lovely work, I enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing
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This is beautiful. Pure and fulfilling love always makes me smile. Good writing creates good emotions.
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This is one of my favourite poems... everything about this piece seems to just touch upon my mind in such a profound way... wow...
there is little more that I can say of your work than amazing... that is not trying to be polite, but it is the truth... this is an amazing scribe that is well reflective of your years.
Good luck in the contest, I wish you all the best
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wow, it is beautiful. i love how it the flow of it and the rhyme. in honest, it made me cry (thats a good thing).
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this is a very beautiful write -
"When "I love you" is said and meant,
And hearts are intertwined,
Most things become irrelevant,
And life is now aligned."
this has to be my favorite stanza in the whole piece. this is truly a beautiful experince. -
this is a very beautiful write from you my friend. thank you for sharing the beauty with me. i am looking forward to reading more from you soon. viyanna rosemarie
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This is so lovely, Paul. That's all I have to say.
-Reni
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ahhhh..to bask in the warm glow of first love. This poem was so full of sweet and tender words, it made my heart melt.
I wish you every good fortune in the contest.
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This poem is so amazingly beautiful that I am speechless. This love that you write about is so true and so beautiful.
When "I love you" is said and meant,
And hearts are intertwined,
Most things become irrelevant,
And life is now aligned.
This is true. And the most beautiful thing to experience
Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem!
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Her glow amazes all who see,
And all who pass her way
But yet she's chosen only me,
I want someone to say that about me
But besides this poem made me feel quite sepcial about girls Hah.it was awesome,simply awesome.
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beautiful
This really took my breath away. This was beautiful Grandpa P. I know I always say this, but this is my favorite one of yours by far. It gave me a really good feeling inside. If someone has never been in love before and reads this poem, it will really make them want to fall in love more than anything in the world. This is so beautiful.
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Wow
That is so touching ... and the background is perfect!! This also seems to go deeper than just love - the first stanza especially
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This poem has to be the most beautiful thing that I have found to my liking all month. the flow is flawless, and the words just glow with warmth and emotion. the detail is perfect. Great write my dear friend.
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teehee
That is just way too cute and yayyyyyy, the picture does look really good as a background.
Lovely writing, as usual, and good luck in the contest.
Hugs and love to ya, Sir.
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