Standing in a crowd
I stand alone,
hollow emptiness
torn heart that can't be sewn.
The pain that screams inside
so loud but can't be heard,
you no longer stand beside me
I no longer hear your word.
I tried to walk the distance
on the narrow path you've paved,
I begged you for forgiveness
I begged my soul be saved.
Light that use to shine from me
is slowly growing dim,
you said that if knocked
you would surely let me in.
Yet I stand alone
grasping for my faith,
while emptiness surrounds me
still patiently I wait.
A contest entry
- closed for judging...LONELINESS. by Summer Dawn.
800 points, ended October 9, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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heartfelt
Another nice write. -
A heart-felt piece...
A heart-felt piece; remember that every person has been given "a measure of Faith"; but like a muscle, it must be exercised regularly; nicely written. --Joe

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I tried to walk the distance
on the narrow path you've paved,
I begged you for forgiveness
I begged my soul be saved.
a very nice verse of pleading and begging for mercy.
the end shows true faith in the one with whom you are waiting for.
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yes, this is a time that is really hard to deal with in life, and i'm sure that as the world goes on times will get harder. i have lost my faith, and i know i probably shouldnt have. i know he hears me, and i know in time he will say it is too bad that i gave up. there are things i will never agree with or understand, and as i was given a brain and a strong mind to live with, i'm sure one day he will understand me. we have had our conversations, and i know he listened, but never will i agree with the way he has let things get this bad. very nice write though.
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thank you
I think we recieve more then we realize, Gods gift to us is our knowledge of right and wrong, everyone has this gift, I think it starts out very strong and the more we choose wrong the more painful the nudge, its like a child putting their hand close to a fire first you feel the intense heat warning you and as you continue the more painful it becomes, its not a punishment its God pulling us away, and if there is anything I have learned in my life it is that we are very very stubborn which causes us to repeat the same painful experience over and over again even knowing what I know I am still stubborn, but more aware and there are signs they start as a little pain not always physical pain it could be any kind of pain just a nudge and as we ignore it increases which puts us in this cycle that we can't get free of it is what we call bad luck. GOD BLESS
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