Dare I do this and knowingly ponder
would I care if I was caught
as my fingers in the jar of life
steal all that I may
leaving nothing for no one
for ever and a day,
or the rest of my life
would I care,
I don't think I would
for there is nothing caring about me
nor anything good to speak off,
and does anyone care for me?
I doubt it and with that thought
I don't want them to anyway.
A contest entry
- AllPoetry Extravaganza--3 Month Gold and Silver Membership by Violet Moodswing.
1500 points, ended November 28, 2007, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Your thoughts please
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Excellent!
Concise, pithy - love the direct nature of the language - this poem is thoughtful and demonstrates an easy unstrained elegance. Would say more but am in a rush - will look at others later. Thank you!
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Very good use of the prompt and a very good example of temptation. I love the way one can metaphorically look at this to mean anything their mind may come up with. Well done. Keep up the good work and good luck in the contest
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This sounded like a rant - a very dark one. I always like to see the random thoughts in a rant and how they follow on each other. Good luck in the contest.
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we write of these things... and then we release the idea... we then sit and look around to see - there are people who care.. if no people ya gotta get a pet lol..
and that pushing away thing... we all do it to some degree for self preservation.
introspective write
now go get a pet
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Thanks again
I do agree and have been there for moments, perhaps even longer if I admit it, but I'm not the morbid type really. What I did enjoy was attemtign to feel the words so that they would preserve some image in the minds of the reader that was not just flowing words but more an intersting perspective. I love to discuss writers comments not just about my work but theirs too.
Thank you for yours.
Terry
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Does anyone care for you ( YES ) this was to sad my
friend and I pray that your words does not say how you really are feeling.
I have read so many of your poems and the beauty you have shared with me and others, i find hard for anyone not to care,
These sad sad words my friend -
This is sad, my friend...such a sense of bitterness coupled with hopelessness and disillusion here. Perhaps social worker's see too much of the bad, mad and sad of life...? This reminds me of something that I've read "when opened, we're all just a book of blood"...not always searching for the truth, but for love. You've expressed yourself very well here (hope it's only a poem).
~ Nicolette
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