into this age of darkness
into this time of fear
we hide from those who haunt us
betray anyone who gets near
from an age of beauty
from a time of peace
the memories whirl around us
but offer no release
the past, it fights the future
killing the present in their wake
we cannot cry in the midst of torture
life is all one big mistake
Hope is what keeps us living
where it came from, no one knows
but in the darkness it keeps shining
and we follow where it goes
Faith, it gives us Courage
to fight for what we seek
but Ignorance is a cage
and we kill the meek
Suicide and Depression
rule our minds but not our hearts
and we must learn the lesson
that we are not alone in the dark
we must find our missing pieces
that shattered near and far
some lay in the creases
of a drowned and fallen star
some are in the forest
where sunlight cannot creep
but there are nymphs and fairies
to help us find what we seek
some fall in the desert
where water is rare
that's where we find the treasure
of friends who really care
some lay on the ocean floor
where air can never be
be brave and walk through that door
because then the blind can see
some float up above you
where birds and angels fly
and when you find those pieces
you'll carry a piece of the sky
the last pieces you must find
are in the soul of another
together, body, heart, and mind,
forever, loving each other
so in your travels of pain and death
keep going, don't give up
you'll find that through the night
Hope is always enough
Author notes
by x-sweet-cherry-x
A contest entry
- this contest might get me in trouble by vacant lot.
307 points, ended October 18, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rounds #1 by takemypainaway.
300 points, ended November 14, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Oh my goodness I dont even know what to say unbelievable this piece is so beautiful Hope is my favorite thing in life my favorite saying everything just the only light that can help us get by living day by day. You are very talented to write such an amazing piece!
Hope is what keeps us living
where it came from, no one knows
but in the darkness it keeps shining
and we follow where it goes
Love this I really do Im going to book mark it!!
Sunny~
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only one word discribes this: WOW
this is amazing i love it i bookmarked it just so i could reread it when i need inspiration wow. this is just...wow. thats all i can think to say. Very very powerful i love it and dont listen to Avatar of Innocence. poetry can be whatever the poet wants it to be. There is no such thing has bad or good in poetry. (not to be mean or anything
)
-+fangirl+-
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I like it
I sense wisdom from the author of this one.Covered alot of area's of emotion and the knowledge from living.Great write.Thanks.Write on.Jim
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Good in parts
This poem had some beautiful verses and images. I particularly liked verses 1,2, and 7 some of the other verses I found a bit too much like the things I learnt in Sunday school. I agree with 'Avatar of innocence' that the pronouns are muddled and need sorting out, for example in the third verse. Verse number ten I thought had muddled imagery, and wasn't sure what the door had to do with the ocean. Maybe this poem could be split into parts? One part about hope, one about faith, etc. I think that as one long poem the feeling was lost a bit. Keep writing!
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TRY AGAIN
Weird: You say the past is "killing the present in their wake". The past is singular, and you use a plural pronoun in the 10th line. Why?
The voice of this poem is conflicted, it runs between no speaker, and the use of "we" "they" "us" and "our" "you". Good poets usually save those different pronouns for the beginning or end to create a stronger tone for the message they want to convey, or keep it CONSISTENTLY throughout the poem.
If you are going to rhyme a poem, and majority of your rhymes are masculine or feminine, keep it that way. Do not introduce lines that don't rhyme within the stanza like:
"some float up above you
where birds and angels fly
and when you find those pieces"
Fly and pieces do not rhyme and screw up the rest of the poem's value (not that this poem has any).
In addition, if the rest of your poem is written in rhyme that is obvious like "other" rhymes with "another". "Death" and "night" are also killing me.
This poem has way too many problems in consistency and ends up keeping the reader confused. The subject is also a bit cliche, with poor imagery and no juxtaposition to create any effect.
Submit another poem and read the rules again CAREFULLY. -
Trust me I'm no real christian but this reminds me of a sermon I heard in church a long time ago when I still went. It had to do with Jesus and his teachings, and how they were like seeds. Some fell on the path, some in thorns, some in rocky soil, some in good soil. Something like that anyway. I was wondering if thats what you were thinking of when you wrote this. well thanks for your entry and good luck
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Nice concept and well written.
My favourite lines are-
"we must find our missing pieces
that shattered near and far
some lay in the creases
of a drowned and fallen star"
Very clever and creative.
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Well I like the idea of this poem and I like the symbolism, the only thing that through me off was you using "seek" in a rhyme pattern twice other than that I really liked the piece
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wow huni,
very graphic in your wording.. paints a picture.
wonderful work, =)
xXx
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