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The Forbidden...love!!!

If you aren’t aware of the long lasting fable;
Then its time to turn the past on the table.
A lad in his teen at sweet sixteen;
Entered a pal, he had never seen.

Mesmerized by her enigmatic fragrance;
He watched her by complete arrogance.
Luck was on his side & he became destiny’s child;
Soon the twosome were seen together;
There meet up was always a get together.

He called it the precious gift to get;
Unaware of his tumbling fate.
Everything was as peace as dove;
When he was with her in love.

Her presence was dynamately ferocious;
Yet she was unseemingly gorgeous.
She was as if god’s own child;
Complete with beauty, spirituality & mild.

Her mystic smile spoke out the thing once & for all;
That anything she meant was love for all.
She reached the lads divinity;
Made him believe that life is nothing but an opportunity.

With her he learnt the untraced paths of life;
That life is nothing but a double edged knife.

Often exclaimed that friendship’s the only thing in her mid;
& she remained adamant till the end like NILE.

Still the lad loved her in every bits & bytes;
Hoping the darkness in his heart will also see some light.

No regret the lad had learnt a lot from her;
She indeed has made him a thorough fighter.
And if you thought that this fable is just the ending;
Then move around your matrix;
As this ending is just the beginning…

Well it was one of the poems I wrote in the initial stages of turning poet. It talks abt teenage love. You may find it a bit to simple & to some xtent a bit wayout of the pit. Do let ur views flow out

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Crash Into Me
    November 29, 2007
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    Still the lad loved her in every bits & bytes;
    Hoping the darkness in his heart will also see some light.

    im not very fond of ryhming schemes but i adored this poem.

    both a mixture of past memories and hope for the future.

     

    lovely.

     

    ♥ ♥

    [[alexsis]]


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ..." loved her in every bits @ bytes " ..... Ending the beginning....

    Reminding me so much of myself... teenage love or not... still a good read!!!!

    Thanks for sharing!


  • Makaskill
    September 29, 2007

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    Wow...This is a good write...I like story telling poems...I enjoyed reading this work of art...Thanks for sharing your poetry with everyone...Peace


  • fathom me
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I like your author comments..

    Teenage love- yup.. its expressed very well. My suggestion would be to keep it simple because its teenage love- words, form, everything. Its teen love, angst, groping to understand things, trying hard to see the positive and take the learning from it so it keeps your pain in check too.. Lots of things.. (What I got out of this one )

    And yes, this ending is only a chapter no matter how important and beloved.. but it IS only a chapter.

    An observation- I have not read many of your poems, but they seem narrative and 'speaking' of the past. Personally, I give more weightage to reliving of feelings without delving into too many facts. It makes it more intense and colourful in my opinion (apart from feeling the moment and capturing it as is). For me fictional information or facts I generally leave em in prose. I guess thats why ballads fill me with an awe..

    As far as formats are concerned- I believe a poem's beauty lies in how relatable is it and how closer it is to the intensity of the feeling the writer feels or has felt. So if this has worked for you, its awesome. You dont need other ppl's judgements. Keep writing

    I hope this helped~
    Kunjal.


  • Sammee
    September 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    GREAT WRITE=D

    wow! this is powerful and awesome! I really did like it!

  • Ankeeta silver member
    September 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    uhmm good attempt!

1 - 6 of 6