Scribbles hang like coat hanger sculptures
[delicately carved, elegantly shaped]
& the room shakes&waits for the end to come
stars are cut out of our eyes
[& misshapen, they shine anyway]
like the cherry rose on your nose,
you kind of see the room in a blood red
[out of your red tinted sunglasses]
we're sort of drunk with love,
& the floor tends to bend in a bit
cracks line the tiles around my chuck-styled feet
[& lips simply say: don't leave, love.]
holding onto roses so perfectly dying,
I wished, I hoped that they could've been plastic
so I could say:
[I'll love you, my dear until the
very last one dies.]
&sometimes,
no,
all the time,
every s i n g l e night that you're not here,
I toss &
I turn.
dear,
this is the chemical imbalance of a girl
when she wishes on way too many stars,
& she finally finds the right one
[she holds on for her life]
& she hopes that she isn't holding too tight.
Author notes
mm..
=]
this is kindof disfigured.
but.. i like it that way.
it's all of my thoughts kindof splattering out at once.
sorry. =]
A contest entry
- For Love by live in love.
500 points, ended October 9, 2007, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 11:11, stars, pennies, and other silly things to wish on by DrunktankLullaby.
300 points, ended October 21, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Mm. I like love lots. =]
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is so beautiful. I loved every line of it. All of the imagery was spectacular and cute in a sense. I loved the little girl like tone inspired by it. As if the voice was experiencing true love for the first time. Despite the obvious backdrop of disasterous previos expierience. I thought it was deep and complex yet comprehensive and completely understandable.
~elizabeth~ -
dude I fucking love it. you have a way with words, and I'm never disappointed when you post a new piece. Beautiful as always.
-
aw I love this bunches sweetie. It's too cute. ♥
this is the chemical imbalance of a girl
when she wishes on way too many stars,
& she finally finds the right one
[she holds on for her life]
& she hopes that she isn't holding too tight.
There couldn't be a more perfect ending to this. I adore every word here dollie. This is brilliant like you. ♥
-
this is amazing darling!
dear,
this is the chemical imbalance of a girl
when she wishes on way too many stars,
& she finally finds the right one
[she holds on for her life]
& she hopes that she isn't holding too tight."
wow these lines just capture me. they are so... I don't know, they are just AMAZING.
you have left me speechless, yet again.
keep writing!
-
its so cute&&sweet hun i love it it makes you want to cry great imagery my favorite lines were:
'
this is the chemical imbalance of a girl
when she wishes on way too many stars,
& she finally finds the right one
[she holds on for her life]
& she hopes that she isn't holding too tight.'
love it hun
-
lovely
I truely liked this alot!!!! Your talent is always worth stopping by. My favorite part was the last stanza: this is the chemical imbalance of a girl
when she wishes on way too many stars,
& she finnally finds the right one
[she holds on for her life]
& she hopes that she isn't holding on too tight.
((((({YOU ROCK})))))
-
holding onto roses so perfectly dying,
I wished, I hoped that they could've been plastic
so I could say:
[I'll love you, my dear until the
very last one dies.]
ahh so true baby..
soo soo true
did i tell you i love you?
xx
♥
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