They look at life, at a distance
With persistence
Wrong decisions
With precision
Souls Destroyed but not quite finished
Life diminished
Body and mind
That took some time
Dedication, means more profits
In their pockets
Just them alone
No emotions shown
Stock has dropped, one way to stop it
Cut benefits
Raising prices
Avert crises
Raped resources, from dumb and blind
Earth left behind
Ravaged and torn
Free to be scorned
Empires rise, Empires fail
The one they sell
The first to fall
No guilt at all
Author notes
There are many existing now (Walmart, Exxon, Mattel)
The Minute Poem is rhyming verse form consisting of 12 lines of 60 syllables written in strict
iambic meter. The poem is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables.
The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff
In a list
A contest entry
- Thought Provoking by A Leper Messiah.
900 points, ended October 8, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RHYMED POEMS ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT ... by ecrivain01.
1150 points, ended October 27, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I thought I would check out some more of your work I was impressed with the last piece. This is new form I haven't come across before, It's unique and stylish and feel. As for the subject matter it's so true and real to life. Excellent write. I will add you to my favorites.
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Thanks - I was pissed after seeing the smartest guys in the room. and it flowed like water. Being that hot this came out. Thanks again and I return the favor
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Not familiar ...
with the form, but that's not important. You are essentially correct in the premise of the poem. You might want to fix this line:
Free to be scorn(ed)
since it's not possible in English to use scorn that way.
Otherwise, not bad. Thanks for entering.
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Thank U - thanks also for the catch.
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Corporate greed threatening much more then our lives, but in gluttonous lust destroying the environment as we peacefully watch. Will our children simply wonder at the beauty of what once was, or will we finally awaken from our stupor and do something about it. Great write here, good luck to you in the contest.
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interesting form
it works quite well with this content... I would have thought the rhyme would downplay the seriousness of the message, but it has actually added to the kind of foreboding, dark tone of this piece...
nicely done!
scary!
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Wow another beautiful piece of work, this is a well writen piece of poetic art and full of truth about our empires like walmart and etc. excellent write.........novy
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Thanks - I tried to write an extension of this thought but it didn't come. Thanks for the kind words. ~ Mykeee
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Excellent write. You used a very unique style which I like. The poem itself talks about the problem of big businesses across the world. It was a great write for this contest. Well done!
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Excellent write.
And sooooo right on....write on! Good luck in the contest.
*PEACE*
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thanks so much.
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