balancing on line
nature's instruments of
sounds and colours
in perfect harmony
a feathered orchestra
Author notes
tanka
In a list
A contest entry
- Chorus Line by MagicLady.
1600 points, ended September 30, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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so nice, i have seen the photo inspiration, this is a wonderful interpretation, birds...how much they add to our world, the sound, and beauty...like a background music for the every day world, simply lovely... h
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Oh wow - I have a love/hate relationship with Tanka's --- This one is on the love side. --- Thank you.
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This has a wonderful feel to it, not only balanced in sound but in sight as well.
I am trying to get back into writing and good reads like this help.
John -
Nice
lovely word economy.flows naturally and speaks to the soul in colour and splendour.Lovely write,a deserving winner.
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Wow!!
Holy Moly!!
Congratulations on Your trophy win Beautiful!!
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooooo
Love this Tanka You did
You are so darn good at these
Miss You and Appreciate Your visit!!
Best wishes to You Sweet Soul
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Am I right or am I right? Is this where I say, "I told you so?" It was very good Ms. Mariza, I know these things.
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Beautiful, most deserving of the gold Loved the pivot..."feathered orchestra"Bravo
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ohhhhh, I really liked this tanka. Your pivot line works very well! I especially like the "feathered orchestra" line. Thank you so much for entering.
Cheryl
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Mari,
This is a beautiful Tanka... it perfectly compliments the picture...
good luck...
mina
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You are too cute Mari.. your way of looking at things around, always brightens my day.. thank you
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peak to valley
feathered vein
as from the quill
the ink does drain
There painting
nature's harmony
Ovation comes
just wait and see
Have a lovely week..
Hugs...Eddy
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Bounty and beauty weighed on the scales of poetic verse. Nicely done my friend. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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I think you've nailed it...got the essence of the photo!
It's one thing to say, "the birds sat and did this and that" any half-wit can do that, you've grasped the sounds and colors and recreated for the reader the picture, not still like shown but the one we all know, that includes colors and sounds and that peculiar symphony of birds when gathered together. Anyone who has seen migrating birds sitting in trees knows that sound. We here in Maine know it well.
I like the title, it is of course, a symphony not only of the sounds, but of those colors and movements, and when they are shooed from that line...of their flight.
Yeah, I think any reader worth his salt can see that this has more to it than just those few lines.
You done good Mookie.
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Thank you for the long and accurate comment, which is better than my poem lol Yes, I like the title too
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And I'm always right. Please remember that!
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