A spot of light climbs on a swell
And rides it to my shore.
Waves pushed ahead by distant storms
Announced with raucous roar.
This sand slate cleaned by last night’s rains.
My steps, the only pair,
Crossover hoof prints newly made
By deer no longer there.
A horseshoe crab kicks in the air,
Just tumbled by the foam.
An osprey grasps her fish face first
And struggles towards her home.
In mist and haze our lighthouse hides,
But now new breezes blow.
The chill brings goosebumps to my skin.
New light portends the show.
The skies now change from gray to white
And flappy gulls swoop by.
The tern dives once and then again.
Five stoic pelicans fly.
A single piper scurries in.
The curtains part again
A final chirp from in the wood
From anxious momma wren.
A suite of waves thrum toward the shore
And in them one can feel,
Just underneath the surface now,
A hidden, well-formed zeal.
The dolphin leaps, and then again
With belly to the sky
And yet a third to steal my breath.
Applause is my reply.
And then a perfect shadowed pair
Throw tails above their wave
I close my eyes and memorize -
This precious image saved.
But now the clouds descend again
On mother nature’s play
And now my heartfelt thanks I give
For gifts she gives each day.
Author notes
My intent is to parallel the feeling of crescendo in the theatre as a play opens, builds and recedes with this moment on my sunrise walk on the beach and the stupendous sight of a dolphin exploding through the waves - but I'm not sure it is there yet. But with the contest deadline so close, I thought I'd better put it on here as is and hope the eyes of fellow writers will help me improve that. All suggestions welcomed.
Written September 29th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Write about nature any style any theme by Lakota.
280 points, ended September 30, 2003, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Beautiful poem. Didn't stir any connections with the theatre for me, (but then I don't go to the theatre
) but I enjoyed it for the beautiful images it conjured up anyway.
Kyla -
awesome
i love the image you used in this poem..i could imagine being on the beach hearing the birds and the ocean. Lovely work -
Truly a masterpiece. I can't praise this enough - beautiful, great flow, and super imagery. Great job! Congratulations!!!! Irene
-
The poem's gorgeous but the explanation is pretentious - it didn't need clarifying anyway. First rule, dont undermine the intelligence of the audience - it's all we've got
-
I loved the poem; each description of nature's bounty was beautiful. I do get the feeling of crescendo in the theater as the play opens. There is definately a sense of building emotion and then it recedes. I loved the introduction to the poem. I had to think about it to realize you were talking about sunrise.
-
better than good
i enjoyed it very much though usually im bored by nature poems. you kept moving instead of just discribeing one thing in minute detail you gave a little about alot. one of my favorite things was though that you rhymed without it sounding stilted i still havent found my rythem so my poetry is very free. i hope to get where you are in that area. but the best i am in love with the ocean, so it ment somthing to me. Thanks for a great read sorry this is so long. -
Wow. What a wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing.
Edited on Oct 01, 9:29 because ''. -
It is beautiful with such vivid images. I felt your excitement. The meter and rhyme work really well. Good luck with the contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
