I'd hold you close, never let go,I loved you more than you'll ever know.
Now your gone, you're at peace, my loneliness will never cease
without you, by my side, the emptiness grows forever wide.
A contest entry
- Missing / Longing in 5 lines! by Beating.
600 points, ended October 8, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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it is a long missing feeling from the words, and the lines...I delighted in reading this and could feel the words...best to you in the contest, thank you for sharing...
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I found another error. In this line:
"Now your gone,"
It should be "you're" and not "your" -
In this line:
"your at peace"
It should be "you're" and not "your".
Perfect rhyming, perfect rhythm and just full of emotions. Exactly what I wanted. Great job! -
This has a real nice flow. It might just be me, but it seems to have a beat and rhythm to it. I really like how each line rhymes. Great job!
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