Words are falling out of me.
Here is the piece of me that you asked for,
here are the tears for your collection,
here is the touch you crave for your heart,
here is the walk you talk of.
Here residing in these words,
falling out of me.
Words are falling out of me,
my heart layed bear on the dissection table,
my mind lay open awaiting your consent,
my tricks exchanged for your acrid treat,
here is the talk you walk with.
Here residing in these words,
falling out of me.
Words are falling out of me,
leaking out my secrets onto a stainless steel floor,
leaking out my thoughts that stay bereaved of all emotion,
leaking sonnets promised to me with the purest of all intention,
here is the walk worth talking of.
Here residing in these words,
falling out of me.
A contest entry
- Come Convince me I'm not Wasting my Time With AP! by Minstrel Knight.
800 points, ended September 27, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quote Inspired by Faeryn.
450 points, ended January 9, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
powerful. love the emotions you put into this- they are very raw and add a lot to the poem. I really liked it! good luck in the contest.
-
Beautifully done, but check your spelling and usage. I like the overall theme of emotions as being liquid in nature, in tears and leaking out of a person onto the floor. Nicely done, just again, check your spelling and such.
Thanks for entering and good luck. -
Wow, this is a beautiful piece of work. It has so much pain within. I love the repetition of the lines:
"Here residing in these words,
falling out of me."
Stunning!
-
Good write
A very up front write and in a way its as though we all say here I am so let me be
-
our words tell stories, as your do now, paint a picture of a world full of emotions, but then porty brings out the best, your words run raw and free, unfettered and enjoyible to read, puts sense into reason excellent write.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
