You sing to me,
You silently call.
You extend your hand,
You touch my soul.
And so I surrender,
I resign myself to you.
You caress me gently,
You paint me cerise.
With you comes liberation,
Yet I’ll never truly be free.
I’ve lost all power,
I'm devoted to you.
Will you care for me?
Will you sleep by my side?
Will you stay with me?
Will you have patience to wait?
This feels so good,
Yet it feels so wrong.
Your dark love allures me,
You speak of great things.
As the blood trickles out,
Your venom seeps in.
You’re cruel to me,
But I crave your touch.
Deserted in the darkness,
And hidden in the shadows.
You’ll torment me, incessantly,
And we’ll flirt with Death as one.
And if life is for the taking,
Why can't I take my own?
I was lonely, I was fearful,
All I wanted was a friend.
Caught up in your wicked grasp,
And thus my story ends.
Author notes
1.
In a list
A contest entry
- GET NOTICED!!!! by Nighttime angel.
625 points, ended January 13, 2008, 88 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options, Prompts, Titles, and a picture by my1lovewearsdiapers.
600 points, ended April 1, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotion of Darkness by Strawberry Wolf.
450 points, ended July 21, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - -Theres N o t h i n g More [Addictive] Than A Wound Thats [S e l f I n f l i c t e d] by MarkiMalady.xo.
650 points, ended July 23, 26 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompts (Quickie!) (Dark, goth, emo, ect.) by StarOfDreams23.
600 points, ended August 20, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Emo Write Ever by VampireKitty-.
400 points, ended October 28, 45 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just make it amazing! by X.brokenlover.X.
977 points, ended November 18, 305 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Give me your very best!!!! Tons of points! by God is my reality.
1450 points, ended November 24, 258 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - give me the most cliché thing you can think of. by wraven.
400 points, ends December 5, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
So, what did you think?
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Hahaha...this one made me laugh'...but lovely gud luck !!
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this is an amazing poem, dark, disturbing but i would be lying if i said i dont know what its like.
good luck -
a great write, full of emotions and imagery, I like the fact that you don't mention the razor in your poem directly but use metaphors instead, it almost seems like an anthem...I can also relate to some parts...
''This feels so good,
Yet it feels so wrong.
Your dark love allures me,
You speak of great things.
As the blood trickles out,
Your venom seeps in.
You’re cruel to me,
But I crave your touch.
Deserted in the darkness,
And hidden in the shadows.
You’ll torment me, incessantly,
And we’ll flirt with Death as one.''
this part really got me hooked...
take care
Suza
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WOW this was great i can't even elaberate i am speechless...good job
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Oh God this hits home. I can relate so bad. Thoughts of suicide. I know....But this is amazing. You brought tears to my eyes. Great write and good luck.
Matt -
Wow!!! Amazing Write But not a very dark background!!!
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GREAT
This poem was so good that it was like I was the person! Thanks for entering and good luck! -
this is seriosuly so full of pain and just is so amazing... thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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-Im shellz i am helping with xXPrincessTragedyXx's contest- I loved this wriite everything about it was ahmazing. From beginning to end; i wasnt losing interest. "You’re cruel to me,
But I crave your touch.
Deserted in the darkness,
And hidden in the shadows.
You’ll torment me, incessantly,
And we’ll flirt with Death as one." Great wriite (x
Shellz -
Wow! very very strong vocabulary!!
its not clique at all and its like you understand everything all the struggle ..everything [:
you deffinatly have a shot
Greeeeeeeeaatt Write!! -
omg!!! wow that seriously just amazing! i have nothing bad to say about it at all!
"And so I surrender,
I resign myself to you.
You caress me gently,
You paint me cerise.
With you comes liberation,
Yet I’ll never truly be free.!"
okayyy i can soo relate to that! it is really so true! thts exactly how it feels.
i hope this isnt about you though!
thank you for the entry and good luck!
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wow this was so... me lol
i can really relate to this
thanx for entering! -
wow
this was a very graet ummm gosh words cant describe how great this was
thankYOU sao much for letting me read this
and thankyou for entering my contest
xXalyXx -
I have had to deal with cutting, and i know exactly what you are talking about, this is very real, and also emotional great job
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(life is for the taking, why can't i take my own) = my favourite 2 lines E V E R.
wow.
those 2 lines may have just won this comp. -
"and we'll flirt with death as one." Great line.
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I like it, because I can relate to it!
Great work, I like the creativeness in it!
Good luck in my contest! -
Amazing
Wow
this was just amazing
great flow
:] and
such strong emotion
good luck
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this poem would have ptoential, but i will not give praise to a poem that details cutting. it's a selfish thing(i did it for two years) and I feel writing about it only makes it stronger. as far as actual writing goes, you did an amazing job, but i don't like it. if it is this engrained, you are losing control and you need to gain it back. you need to look for an answer to your problems, not this temporary solution.
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amazing job! though im not judging for another 3 days... you've got a great chance! amazing write and good luck!
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This is great!
Loved it!
Thanks for entering and good luck! -
wooooooooooow
that was amazing
very beautiful writing, well done
good luck! -
very nice
very nice i like how u show the adiction tht is cutting -
this is a very nive poem. i love these kind of poem alot
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thank you for entering! this is a very nice poem! these are the type of poem I enjoy reading the most! you did a great job and good luck!
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i love it
i love it, everything about it
i dont have a fave part, everything is just so good
thanks for entering ALMOST ANYTHING GOES -
Awesome!
This is a stunning piece, had me gripped from the first line. It is powerfully beautiful, with a mix of well expressed emotions. The two lines..
'And if life is for the taking,
Why can't I take my own?'
especially stood out to me. A touching plea. Superbly penned piece, deserves a gold IMHO
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this is a very powerful poem, one that has a message that not only needs to be heard, but one that is often misunderstood. though I am not a cutter, my best friend is and I watch how this addiction is literally slowly killing her. I will tell you the same that I told her. I am here if you need to talk with someone, and I will not judge you, for that defeats the whole purpose. you are important and even though those words are some times hard to believe, they are true.
good luck in the contest.
kat
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hah this is amazing. the rhymes sound perfect!!! this is really great, nice job
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Wow!
I love how this builds and continues to get better. Sweet-Suicide took my favorite part so I'll just say I love it all.
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great write the first couple stanzas don't flow as well as i would like, but a great write. thank you for entering.
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You’ll torment me, incessantly,
And we’ll flirt with Death as one.
i liked those lines.
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Wow.This poem keeps you hoooked,therefore I love it.WONDERFUL.
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