The curious moon peeks through the curtains
Oh how She mocks me, her and I solitary figures
She implies no soul is as lonely as we
Moon shines upon the deserted bed
And She and I wonder where you have gone
A contest entry
- Missing / Longing in 5 lines! by Beating.
600 points, ended October 8, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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wow. how smart. making the moon a person. I like how you call the moon She. With capital. Makes her quite a woman. I really like this, and you definitely get points for originality!
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Brilliant, I like the way you've brought the moon in as a second person, she and I, great! Such a sad piece, good luck.
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I love how you fit so much description into a short five lined poem.
I really like it, and the last line leaves me with a very curious and anxious feeling.
Awesome write.
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