Wake up in the morning,
Plaster on that smile.
Wash away the dirt and grime,
And put away that knife.
But first cut a little deeper,
Give the blade another kiss.
Cultivate that feeling,
As the blood, it slowly drips.
Dripping down into the ocean,
Of blood and sweat and tears.
All the work you did, all the soul you gave,
But now its all come to an end.
So trace the lines you've already written,
Cross out the words you've left unsaid.
A broken mirror to match a broken face,
When the shadow shrouds you in the dark.
I never got to choose,
All I did was fall.
You can try to fix me,
But I'm beyond repair.
You tell me that you love me,
And I believe your lies again.
And if you want to hurt me,
Just keep doing what you are.
The relentless pain,
The taste of deceit,
The merciless taunts,
And a poisonous kiss.
Another truth you try to shield,
And from another cut I bleed.
Can't you see I'm crying,
Even though I always smile?
In a list
A contest entry
- CLOSED....................................ANYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE A TROPHY APPLY HERE by Summer Dawn.
375 points, ended September 26, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes. by XXxXBassMeisterxXxX.
306 points, ended June 1, 2008, 31 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cutters, Bleeders & Blood covered chocolate by Devilish Temptation.
600 points, ended August 10, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - depressing or love poems. by SiC.
500 points, ended October 16, 75 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want depressing love poetry! by xxvampyregirlxx.
1000 points, ended November 22, 113 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Thoughts?
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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wow, love this write. the flow and how it rhymed, emotion and vividness. great job good luck in contest
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Ahhh yes the first poem -breathes it in- ;D lol "poisonous kiss" why thank you
lol jk. but i absolutely loved this... and your first write got three trophys
damn mam..lol. ok i'll stop, but this... is excellent! and sad... :/ but amazing...
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Very descriptive and creative.
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wow your piece blew me away this is a talented and heartfelt creative piece thanks for entering the contest and good luck
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I really enjoyed it
Thanks for entering -
Thank you for entering my contest. I really enjoyed this poem. The idea that we pretend to be happy for others is so true for many people. I can't count the number of times if done just as your poem says and "Plaster on that smile". Great write and good luck
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I also liked how it shows how people put on a smile for others just to make everything seem okay.
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ABOSLUTELY FANTASTIC! i loved it. it spoke the truth of the pain and how people want to fix it and really they can't and sometimes they just need to shut up. It amazed me. Best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you
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first immpression (just looking at the title) what the fu*k... why should i read this, its probably gonna be happy all the way...i wish i could stab the au--- oh, it says angst, dark, emo, pain int he categories IS THIS A JOKE?
i must admit i hate the title but it fits really well
i like the first stanza the most
thanks for entering -
A little bit cliche with some of the descriptions, but overall it brought out what it was trying to convey. Emotions running rapid, criss-crossing all over the place: this poem gives something for the reader to relate to or, if anything, help them understand. Thanks for entering.
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I have always found it curious as to why I pretend to be happy (smile), and then get pissed if someone doesn't pick up that I'm hurting. I relate to this (except for the cutting). It hurts to be in pain and have no one notice. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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i love this. i wouldnt classify it as "just another poam about cutting". one thing that bothered me a littel though is that some places you rhymed ond others you didnt. for me its just personal preference either use all rhyme, or dont rhyme at all.
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Pain & Dark & Despair
What an incredibly dark vision you've created. This is my favorite stanza:
"So trace the lines you've already written,
Cross out the words you've left unsaid.
A broken mirror to match a broken face,
When the shadow shrouds you in the dark."
Wonderful imagery! Thanks for entering!
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Very well-expressed
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
very wrinching
this was a good write
nice poem
thank you for entering!!
**kat -
Wonderful piece about the facade people in pain often feel they have to place upon themselves. This was my favorite stanza:
Another truth you try to shield,
And from another cut I bleed.
Can't you see I'm crying,
Even though I always smile?
Again, about putting on a mask of happiness even through the tears. I've written something similiar and your poem intrigued me. It's full of pain yet it's beautiful. Thank you for your entry. -
This one made me want to cry too...It was reeaally good.
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Nicely done. I especially liked the last two lines, because I can relate to them just. so. well.
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You know this sounds like it could be great lyrics. You are so gifted in the way you express the point your trying to get across in words. You are very lucky it comes to you so naturally. I just wanted to rad something new from you and give you the wish of a bright happy day. Love you neice, Angelina
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I really liked this. The rhyme actually added to the poem rather than take away from it. I like that this wasn't filled with self pity or anything like that, which can sometimes come across in other poems on this subject. Thanks for your entry and good luck!
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I must say dirty pretty is my fav poems, nice! thanks for entering & good Luck
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... another cutting poem....
Oh well! At least this one was real, and without the typical self pity I seem to see everywhere. I felt your pain as real and your words won my sympathy. -
loved every single word jojo. the last line is especially true for you.
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I actually really liked this, which is unusual b/c I usually don't like too dark poems. But i thought the rhyme scheme went really well and it was very tragically beautiful. I thought it would make a really really good dirty-pretty poem.
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Oh the reality of it all. What makes love so great though is how uncertain it can be. If it was easy, it would suck. I like the line 'so trace the lines you've already written'. Isn't that the essence of maintaing a lie. I loved it!
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this is really good
wow i really like this
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The relentless pain,
The taste of deceit,
..............................very good imagery here.
very nice poem.
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This is really great sweetie. I can definitely relate to parts of it. I can see the pain and sadness here. I really hope that things get better.
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WOW
Beautifully written with sweetness yet talking of such pain. A well crafted poem of such hurt that I feel myself. If there is anyone that should win this competition it should be you. keep up the great writing.
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You tell me that you love me,
And I believe your lies again.
And if you want to hurt me,
Just keep doing what you are.
Another truth you try to shield,
And from another cut I bleed.
Can't you see I'm crying,
Even though I always smile?
I like this poem. aNd we ask: why cant they see the truth,the real you? is it reallt that hard? But hey, I felt like this once and thankfully am done now.and so can you. -
You tell me that you love me,
And I believe your lies again.
And if you want to hurt me,
Just keep doing what you are.
Another truth you try to shield,
And from another cut I bleed.
Can't you see I'm crying,
Even though I always smile?
And we ask: why cant they see the real "us",the real truth?is it really that difficult?
Nice poem. I love it.I added you as my favorite
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loved it
every bit of it
its really good
good write
S xx
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