i'm filled with terror
my hands are bound,
somewhere above my head;
a metal post, something cold and unforgiving,
that's all i know.
on my back,
damp hard ground,
staring up,
and there you are;
your silhouette,
strong and powerful.
i can only imagine,
how pathetic i look.
the light above you,
blinding,
yet so dim. . .
a small, weak gasp escapes my lips.
i can feel your soft fingertips
on my naked thighs;
your ugly whispers,
on my ear.
i can see it,
that look.
sadistic, ruthless.
you won't let me go,
not until. . .
. . .you're done.
bruises are everywhere;
i'm bleeding,
but you don't care.
your graceful strength,
merciless hands,
wrapped around my arms.
as i look up at you,
terrified,
all i can realize is. . .
. . .there's nothing in this world that i want more than you
Comments
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I think this particular poem just suffers from lack of strong imagery. Images like "metal post," "cold, hard ground" and the "sadistic, ruthless" look on the other person's face are okay, but they can be made much more intense with a few tweaks here and there. If ya wanna know any, let me know--I don't generally give too many suggestions 'cause then it looks I'm trying to re-write the whole thing.
Thanks for entering.
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