Life froze, for just a few moments
Appearing as a shadow of reality
My mind remained in the present tense
Knowing my thoughts would sustain practicality
Appearing as a shadow of reality
This dream conveyed a feeling so real
Knowing my thoughts would sustain practicality
Yet not knowing how or what to feel
This dream conveyed a feeling so real
As the fallacy moved far from my vision
Yet not knowing how or what to feel
Unbeknownst the reason for this decision
As the fallacy moved far from my vision
From hindsight I see the devastation
Unbeknownst the reason for this decision
Yet avoiding this early termination
From hindsight I see the devastation
My mind remained in the present tense
Yet avoiding this early termination
Life froze, for just a few moments
Author notes
2 days ago I was driving back to work and a tire fell from a truck. It bounced once and then it seemed to slow down as well as the other cars. It bounced right past me in a slow motion feeling and when I turned to look in my rear view mirror the tire hit a car and a pile up began on I20 east in Georgia.
I was stunned for 2 days. The only way I could almost express what went on was this form of poetry that repeats the images in each stanza which stayed in my mind.
But mostly beginning and ending with Life freezing before my eyes. Thanks for reading
The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines
of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a
new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing
quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.
The design is simple:
Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4
Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8
Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanza then repeats the second and
fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of
the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first
line of the poem is also the last.
Last stanza:
Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Lovely form,
just checking out some new things that I have not read by you. Ahhh...Augusta, GA
great picture, very realistic and the imagery of your piece was astounding. Great job.
Ephiphany♥
-
Excellent
This is an excellent write, the style is beautiful, it is sad that you witnesses such a sad accident, hope that everyone is ok or will be ok if they did get hurt in anyway. sometimes time does seem to freeze, it has happened to me before, maybe God is sending us a sign, or their maybe some Angels that love us watching over us, I have had feelings of deja vu alot before or remember doing aomething that I know that I have never done before, it is weird but it has happened to me. My Dad has told me some experiences that he has had before driving on the road, he swears that he was going down the highway and this car got in front of him and would not let him by, then the car blocked his way and would not let him go up this off ramp, he said that he was mad as hell but it was not 30 seconds later, a truck plowed down the off ramp, going the wrong way, he said the person in the car turned and waved at him, he looked in his rear view mirror and turned back and the car was gone, no where to seen. That was a very powerful story that my Dad told me and I will never forget it, I believe that He had an angel watching over him that day and I believe that you had one watching over you on the day that this happened to you. Excellent write, thank you for sharing and keep them coming.
raingoddess
-
I've never seen this form before but liked it very much. It seems to give you an opportunity to restate the lines that have the most meaning to you and to clarify them even more. I loved the wording you used and the rhythm and rhyme. I know how the slow mo thing goes when you first have the fleeting thought that it might be your last thought. Maybe it's the brains way of trying to cram as much in as possible in those last moments. Glad you were unscathed and shared with us. Take care!
-
First of all let me say that I adore this form, but beyond that, the words and imagery and your expression of both is simply awesome. Keep that pen handy dear poet!
midnight lace -
My dear son I'm so glad that you were able to see it and I feel bad for the others in the accidents. I know just where you were when it happen. I have traveled both those Interstates. "Happy you are here with us." Excellent write for the concept in question, perfect choice of form; to convey the visual you had.....Novy
-
-
thanks mom - it was really surreal. Like the comments, I was out of it 4 a while. thanks for compliment. ~miKeee
-
-
Often when we have a lucky escape things happen in slow motion. Then shock sets in. You have conveyed what happened that day very well.
Your gaurdian angel was definately with you.
Glad you where OK
Love ~sugar~
-
-
thanks Sugar - U are so right
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
