I don't know where you've gone.
But all I'll say is so long...
I can't worry or fret about you forever.
And go to you just whenever.
The melonchy sounds of love lost past.
I swore I thought it would last...
I tried to love and please you.
But sorry that there's nothing I could do.
Constantly I am trying.
But my insides just keep dying...
My love was never there.
And you were never near.
Did you care about me.
Your love was my key...
My lush heart was dry.
Me, uncapable to cry.
I watched you crawl back.
In the middle of black.
Though I never cared.
It would've been nice to share...
Constantly I am trying.
But my insides just keep dying...
My love was never there.
And you were never near.
There's one word I need to say.
Something urgently today...
I don't care, I don't need you.
I'm sorry there's nothing you can do.
I laugh, you'll cry.
I'll live, you'll die.
My revenge is in my blood.
It'd help if only you could...
Constantly I tried to love you.
But you never got the clue...
Author notes
Song lyrics? About someone I liked but now hate, cause he's jerkish...(Kayla no it's not who you're thinking...)
What'd ya think?
Comments
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ok...it's a really cool poem. What I would do is (you requested constructive critisism) shorten the 2nd and 4th lines of some of the stanzas. For example, in the first stanza, I'd take "but" from the 2nd line and "just" from the 4th line, but that's just me so, do whatever. Also, in the 4th stanza 4th line, it's incapable, not uncapable. This is just to make it flow better. Nie write!


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LOL I KNOW WHO IT IS
Is it the pastor's son, David?
Oh well, anyways, I like it a lot. I don't care who it's about, because it's really awesome. Keep writing cause I love your writings. ^_^ KK?


