Born way up on a mountain so high
You seem to see things that others pass by.
Child of the Mountain so high in the air
Isn't the air awfully thin way up there?
Child of the Mountain, you dream out loud
Building a city on each passing cloud.
Child of the Mountain so high in the air
Isn't the air awfully thin way up there?
Child of the Mountain, you see with different eyes.
What others can't see they label as lies.
Child of the Mountain so high in the air
Isn't the air awfully thin way up there?
Child of the Mountain, I am saddened when I see
That you cannot live down here on Earth with me.
Child of the Mountain, so high in the air
Isn't the air way too thin way up there?
Author notes
The poem is lyrics for a Folk Song.
A contest entry
- A blue ribbon by Wind Walker.
1750 points, ended October 12, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blank Cheque by sca.
777 points, ended November 1, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes (Almost Anything) by Carly Pop.
500 points, ended December 15, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your best work composed over the last twelve months by Lute.
600 points, ended January 9, 2008, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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content-7.4
vocabulary-10.7
accuracy-7.7
creativity-7.4
theme-7.3
originality-7.6
totals-48.1
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I have reviewed several of your works and melodies are so obvious in some of them. Like this one. Are you submitting these anywhere that could get them sung for you? (I have no idea where that would be.) This seems almost classic. Very heartfelt.
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To your entry:
It's hard to distinguish if too much repetition is used when writing a song without hearing the song being sung. As displayed here, even though quite a short piece as it is, it seems a tad too repetitious which therein lies the problem of whether it's too repetitious or not since songs use repetition to help tell the story of the song. Always a problem I feel.
Are lyrics poems? Some lyrics can have poetic qualities to them. Or some poems can be turned into lyrics and thus made into a song. Has been done before. You say these are "lyrics" to a "folk" song. My rules are very specific in saying "poems only". I do not find that "lyrics" is poetry; though as stated: they can have poetic elements to them.
Another note: you state this is lyrics for a "folk song", a "folk" song usually has lyrics that talk of social issues from the past, present, and sometimes what social issues in the future would be. Though, this does have such a quality to it that it could be regarded "lyrically" as a folk song, I do not think it actually encompasses that broad definition. It seems too short in telling the social story, the repetition takes most of the mold of the lyrics, and I'm thinking perhaps these are just lyrics to "folk music" which can be defined purely from a musical standpoint rather than a lyrical one.
If you go back to the rules of the contest, you'll note that I asked twice (and why I put it there twice) only "poems". Though many rhyming poems are usually written to be the way they are for use in music in the "modern age of poetry" I feel it's defined a bit differently.
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A wonderful song -
can almost feelt he melody
Good luck
B D
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