confusion spreading throu my veins
like a toxin i cannot escape
unsure if i am still sain
not thinking of what it will take
the truth biting at my tounge
wishing to be set free
unsure of what i've begun
but at least it's started finally!
chorus:
hold on please- hold on to me
we'll make it through, it just takes time
just believe- we'll get out free
they can't take away what's yours and mine
hold on please- hold on to me
don't let the waves pull us under
just believe- we'll get out free
we can make it together
:chorus
denial cries out in lonliness
screaming my words are untrue
it tells me I'm only pretending this
that there's no way i feel this for you
pushing back, we return it's pain
yet, my thoughts are still unsure
how can i make the choice to stay
if i don't know what i'm fighting for?!
chorus:
hold on please- hold on to me
we'll make it through, it just takes time
just believe- we'll get out free
they can't take away what's yours and mine
hold on please- hold on to me
don't let the waves pull us under
just believe- we'll get out free
we can make it together
:chorus
twists and turns, another corner
the path can never be straight
we wonfder, if we go on further
will it rearrange this fate
these problems undecided
there's no question to answer
the system's over-rided
but we're still chased after
chorus:
hold on please- hold on to me
we'll make it through, it just takes time
just believe- we'll get out free
they can'te take away what's yours and mine
hold on please- hold on to me
don't let the waves pull us under
just believe- we'll get out free
we will make it together
:chorus repeat 1x
Author notes
much luv~
kitty
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
very good! i like the part where you said, "the path can never be straight". it makes me wanna know more, read more. Also, i like how you made it into a song. Write more like this!
-
Wow, that was a really fantastic song. It was simple to put a beat too and easy to get stuck in my head. your writing has a really strong "voice" if you know what i mean, like you can easily get whats in your heart/mind and put it into words. Starry-Eyed pretty much covered the typos, except "tounge" is spelled tongue. I especially liked this part "yet, my thoughts are still unsure, how can i make the choice to stay
if i don't know what i'm fighting for?!" Great work, keep writing.
~gracing~
-
overall I love this poem or song rather. However there are a lot of spelling error and 1 word that is not really a word. I will break it down for you:
Verse One -
line one: spelling error: through
line three: sane
line 5: toungue
verse three -
line 1: loneliness
verse 5 -
line 3: typo - wonder
line seven: over-rided is not correct. The past tense for over-ride is over-ridden. I suggest substituting this word with over-turned.
I hope this helps!!!
Great poem!
Adding your comment:
